Fame < Infamy
"When I'm home alone I just dance by myself and you pull my head so close volume goes with the truth
Signing off "I'm alright in bed but I'm better with a pen"" This song i've always underestimated. It is very odd but I get it. I feel it. I <3 writing as my release i feel like thats what its almost about. Im really feeling another one from my heros FOB but I will save that for another day and another entry.
I had a good diner tonight with Marcus. Helped me think things through. Just to know that I need to let life happen and that if i keep pushing things away they will comeback 2x as much to push back. I just have to let things happen. You cant help how you feel right? yep you cant. talking things through to someone instead to your LJ does help some. One day I will be okay. I just have to live life and stop over thinking everything. I need to stop thinking about people judging and what they think of me. Its so hard. I don't even know why I careee. I never care about that shit. I do need to be more creative and do more creative things and i need to get on with the piano and start the book process. the summer is here and the fun has to begin. I need to start making the gym a reg thing but my work schedule hasn't been consistent and its rather lame. I just want to do stuff!!! I just wish I didnt have to work and just do what I want. but thats not this life time i guess. and one day I will have Benny, my Benz but I will have to work to get that I suppose. ugh Im in a weird mood. I cant really put it in words. its odd. Normally i can attempt but its not really working right now. I guess the music im listening to is blocking my thoughts instead of letting them out.
As broadways RENT puts it best....I cant control my destiny...I trust my soul my only goal is just to be... Theres only now, theres only here, give in to love, or live in fear, no other path no other way, NO DAY BUT TODAY....
Signing off "I'm alright in bed but I'm better with a pen"" This song i've always underestimated. It is very odd but I get it. I feel it. I <3 writing as my release i feel like thats what its almost about. Im really feeling another one from my heros FOB but I will save that for another day and another entry.
I had a good diner tonight with Marcus. Helped me think things through. Just to know that I need to let life happen and that if i keep pushing things away they will comeback 2x as much to push back. I just have to let things happen. You cant help how you feel right? yep you cant. talking things through to someone instead to your LJ does help some. One day I will be okay. I just have to live life and stop over thinking everything. I need to stop thinking about people judging and what they think of me. Its so hard. I don't even know why I careee. I never care about that shit. I do need to be more creative and do more creative things and i need to get on with the piano and start the book process. the summer is here and the fun has to begin. I need to start making the gym a reg thing but my work schedule hasn't been consistent and its rather lame. I just want to do stuff!!! I just wish I didnt have to work and just do what I want. but thats not this life time i guess. and one day I will have Benny, my Benz but I will have to work to get that I suppose. ugh Im in a weird mood. I cant really put it in words. its odd. Normally i can attempt but its not really working right now. I guess the music im listening to is blocking my thoughts instead of letting them out.
As broadways RENT puts it best....I cant control my destiny...I trust my soul my only goal is just to be... Theres only now, theres only here, give in to love, or live in fear, no other path no other way, NO DAY BUT TODAY....