Oh. Wow.
I feel stupid.
I've had way too much faith.
I always thought not holding back was a part of really living.
Who was I to think such things?
All my life, people have praised me for wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I should have known that holding back prevents you from getting hurt.
I was crying earlier today and was looking through Limewire for some songs to cheer me up, but I found that none of them did that. I was still crying when I tried to call Amanda and she was out. It's scary having to face this sort of thing on my own, although I may not have to, it feels like I do. I've always had faith in the fairness of life, that after suffering & still being a good person through it all and keeping my faith, maybe I would be rewarded. But every time I feel like I'm being given another chance at this,
it ends up being completely different.
I really hope Amanda gets home from the city soon, I really need to talk to her. Last night, when I called her & she listened to all my talking and crying and sniffling, I thought I felt better. This morning, I woke feeling like I did something wrong.
I don't know what else to say, really.
I've had way too much faith.
I always thought not holding back was a part of really living.
Who was I to think such things?
All my life, people have praised me for wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I should have known that holding back prevents you from getting hurt.
I was crying earlier today and was looking through Limewire for some songs to cheer me up, but I found that none of them did that. I was still crying when I tried to call Amanda and she was out. It's scary having to face this sort of thing on my own, although I may not have to, it feels like I do. I've always had faith in the fairness of life, that after suffering & still being a good person through it all and keeping my faith, maybe I would be rewarded. But every time I feel like I'm being given another chance at this,
it ends up being completely different.
I really hope Amanda gets home from the city soon, I really need to talk to her. Last night, when I called her & she listened to all my talking and crying and sniffling, I thought I felt better. This morning, I woke feeling like I did something wrong.
I don't know what else to say, really.