(no subject)
I've been more emotional lately than usual. Which I guess is a little weird for me. I've been very intensely lonely at times. There are many people, both living and dead that I miss very much. I even miss the innocence of being young.
Young people are in such a hurry to grow up. It certainly doesn't take long before you start noticing how good it is to be young and innocent. And then you notice that you really aren't either of those anymore.
There are so many things that I would do differently if I knew then what I do now. Alas, you cannot change your past.
...I feel so haunted by my past sometimes. Wisps of memories come and go. Some dear, others unpleasant.
Mostly though, I look at who I am now and who I want to be. It makes me sad because I know I'm so weak. I'm going to need a whole lot more strength than I have now. I lack in courage, willpower, faith. My heart is not pure. My hands are not clean. Who would ever want me?
Young people are in such a hurry to grow up. It certainly doesn't take long before you start noticing how good it is to be young and innocent. And then you notice that you really aren't either of those anymore.
There are so many things that I would do differently if I knew then what I do now. Alas, you cannot change your past.
...I feel so haunted by my past sometimes. Wisps of memories come and go. Some dear, others unpleasant.
Mostly though, I look at who I am now and who I want to be. It makes me sad because I know I'm so weak. I'm going to need a whole lot more strength than I have now. I lack in courage, willpower, faith. My heart is not pure. My hands are not clean. Who would ever want me?