"the way it should be."

[starsfadeout]

this could have been something special
but you'd "never believe it" from the start.

from girl jeans and hardcore screams
to fallen leaves and a summer that made us lose our minds.
it's hard to watch something fall apart while (you think) you're still a part of it.
like driving a car and watching all the bolts come loose before you lose a tire, but for some reason you keep driving like it will all be fine.

"fine."
it's never fucking fine.
maybe you'll know that when you find yourself alone

like i've said,
friendship sank in the pacific.

you turn blue the more you sink.

forget why you're dreaming and the dream will leave your side.
(we grew up too fast but im struggling to stay young.)

some not struggling at all,
some no direction.
as for trying, i've let it go.
(and "it" me)

if you haven't got a phone call, you've got the right idea.
(i hear your silence loud and clear.)

we took a chance without any support.
thank god you're not a hospital;
we couldn't count on you for anything.

you pulled the life support when the papers read "assisted living" if in need.
fuck you.
this was a family.

words are just words.
they don't have to mean a thing.
that's something i've learned from a liar.
(thank you)

friends have been lost.
trust.
i'm re-building myself.
(believe it or not)
i'm learning to be somebody outside of these walls you've built me into.

if we're all alone, aren't we in this together?

erase the past.
re-write the future.

see you on the other side.

x.