"I love the way that you say please when youre lookin up at me, youre like my favorite damn disease"
What a week... Where to start? I've been in a pretty tumultuous state lately, for several reasons, as Mike and I have found out. I just have way too much damn stress that I need to take care of and get rid of. I really need to take care of this registration mistake. Get that dermatologist appt. Study earlier for tests. Take care of getting my stuff back from Bucky. Talk to Joe. All that among other smaller things. x~=Nori=~x Sorry, need to remember that. I just want to be the person I was a few weeks ago, back in December. I want to be able to be happy and content and not so damn moody. I mean, I do what I can, mentally, to calm myself down and look at whatever bad situation I am in in a different light... but it's hard! I don't think that I have ever had such a hard time being nice to people. I like to be nice, believe it or not, and I hate it when it is hard to not bite someone's head off. My mind has been so clouded that I can think of nothing but my problems, and in such a narrow way, too. I always try to think about things from several perspectives and use reason to draw conclusions, but hell, I can't do that right now. I feel so unconnected to myself and so far away from the world that I'm just stuck right now.
What to do? Well, I talked it over with Mike and I thought it would be a good idea for me to get away for a little while (maybe go to the beach at Tybee, maybe visit Riverstreet again and just sit my the river) alone with myself. But Mike thinks I just need to get all this stupid crap outta my life and take care of some old problems that keep bubbling up every now and then. I think I need a little of both. I'll take care of what needs to be taken care of tomorrow and the next day, and do all my freaking homework :p. But I still think that I need some alone time. I guess it's because I am always around people 24/7 now, and I'm not used to it at all. I was an only child for 18 years, and even when we moved in with John and Austin and Lucy, I kept to myself in my room. Not to mention the fact that, until Mike, I never had a boyfriend who lived in the same STATE as me. Now that I can see Mike all day every day, it's changed my life, literally. I don't mind, I like being around him as much as I can be, but it's a change I am having to adjust to.
Another thing... I don't have friends here like I did back home. I mean, I have friends and the ones I have are awesome, but I have no one here that I am REALLY close to except for Mike. That in itself is pretty stressful. I dunno, my senior year of high school was crazy as hell, but I did find my place there, and I guess I'm just starting to make mine here. And since I am always between my dorm and Mike's, I don't really have a place to stay, to put all my stuff and settle down. That, too, eats away at my mental well-being. Gah, money has been a problem lately, too. Not because I cannot manage it, but books, food, school stuff--I've been overdrawn twice in one month. And it's not even my fault, but I sure as hell get in trouble for it. HOPE doesn't pay my books--sorry! I need the damn books!
ANYway... want the superficial stuff? I went to the ATL this weekend and had a pretty decent time. I went with Mike again, and just kinda hung out with his family. We went to a 'concert' friday night (a punk/Skaa thing) with all these kids and people dressed all "Punk," but soooooo many of them were straight-up posers. Like, if you wanna be different, don't wear the SAME thing as everyone else--I don't care if it IS "Punk"-looking. But I ended up having a great time (Mike in a mosh-pit... BWAHAHAHA!!!). And after my near-fatal rib injury, Mike even got a drumstick for me from Punk Drunk, one of my fave bands there.
Saturday, I don't really remember... And today it was just a lot of driving. But I tire of "writing." Gonna go now. Mike just got outta his TKE meeting and I am soooo hungry. See you guys, maybe I'll conclude this a lil better later tonight! :D
Stella*
What to do? Well, I talked it over with Mike and I thought it would be a good idea for me to get away for a little while (maybe go to the beach at Tybee, maybe visit Riverstreet again and just sit my the river) alone with myself. But Mike thinks I just need to get all this stupid crap outta my life and take care of some old problems that keep bubbling up every now and then. I think I need a little of both. I'll take care of what needs to be taken care of tomorrow and the next day, and do all my freaking homework :p. But I still think that I need some alone time. I guess it's because I am always around people 24/7 now, and I'm not used to it at all. I was an only child for 18 years, and even when we moved in with John and Austin and Lucy, I kept to myself in my room. Not to mention the fact that, until Mike, I never had a boyfriend who lived in the same STATE as me. Now that I can see Mike all day every day, it's changed my life, literally. I don't mind, I like being around him as much as I can be, but it's a change I am having to adjust to.
Another thing... I don't have friends here like I did back home. I mean, I have friends and the ones I have are awesome, but I have no one here that I am REALLY close to except for Mike. That in itself is pretty stressful. I dunno, my senior year of high school was crazy as hell, but I did find my place there, and I guess I'm just starting to make mine here. And since I am always between my dorm and Mike's, I don't really have a place to stay, to put all my stuff and settle down. That, too, eats away at my mental well-being. Gah, money has been a problem lately, too. Not because I cannot manage it, but books, food, school stuff--I've been overdrawn twice in one month. And it's not even my fault, but I sure as hell get in trouble for it. HOPE doesn't pay my books--sorry! I need the damn books!
ANYway... want the superficial stuff? I went to the ATL this weekend and had a pretty decent time. I went with Mike again, and just kinda hung out with his family. We went to a 'concert' friday night (a punk/Skaa thing) with all these kids and people dressed all "Punk," but soooooo many of them were straight-up posers. Like, if you wanna be different, don't wear the SAME thing as everyone else--I don't care if it IS "Punk"-looking. But I ended up having a great time (Mike in a mosh-pit... BWAHAHAHA!!!). And after my near-fatal rib injury, Mike even got a drumstick for me from Punk Drunk, one of my fave bands there.
Saturday, I don't really remember... And today it was just a lot of driving. But I tire of "writing." Gonna go now. Mike just got outta his TKE meeting and I am soooo hungry. See you guys, maybe I'll conclude this a lil better later tonight! :D
Stella*