Super old.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Even if it isnt right.. im starting to appreciate the "right time" for things..
Spring break starts next friday..& its funny how last year i was basically in the same situation that im in right now & being so impatient for this day to come..
Even though a week isnt enough, its a start.
with work now to keep me distracted..
I love how everything happens for a reason, even if its wrong..
suddendly everything starts making sense..
& I no longer feel confused.. it just feels great.. even if its bad..
Its sunday afternoon.. a day which i normally hate, since theres never anything to do..
But sheila was right.. after working the whole week, you actually get to appreciate sundays.. :]
Ive learned that the best thing to do after crying your little heart out is to sleep.. you feel SO relieved when you wake up..
Also, staying up all night after a day of work.. isnt good.. atleast not for me.
When stressed, i HAVE to take a break..
&I dont do well under pressure.
If i manage to graduate on time, life will be granting me another miracle.
Its funny how you start to realize that.. youve been so stupid this whole time.. &how long its taken you to realize it. (im speaking of myself).
This feeling inside me of not caring; i wish itd last a little longer..
Im being so indisicive about a part of my life right now... or well... an event.
Im still trying to work on not changing my mind so constantly.
I say yes today, i say no tomorrow.
I suddendly felt like writing..
I should get this feeling more often..
The song "Motorcycle Drive By" is amazing, ive loved it since i was 12yrs old &i still love it today :]
&everytime i listen to it, i realize that.. now, after all these years.. i can somewhat relate to it.. which isnt such a great.. cause it doesnt say many nice things..
Ive learned to applied to my life the saying "if you always do what you always have, you will always get, what youve always gotten"..
My mistake has been that i keep on doing the same experimet & i keep expecting different results.
Ive never known when to give up...
&thats not a bad thing..
Just.. its not so great when you fight for, what im fighting for..
&realize that youre losing.. &that youve been losing..
&that.. i was just never winning..
I remember starting this school year.. & telling myself.. "this is gonna be a long year.."..
So far, it has been.. but at the same time.. it hasnt..
&now theres only 2months left.. &before i know it.. ill be out of there..
&there'll be no more.. problems. No more "drama".. &no more arguments.
I mean, sure.. ill still have issues in life and stuff..
Just, not about the SAME thing over and over EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Its safe to say, AND actually mean.. That this sunday afternoon, i feel relieved and happy.
&if i end up crying today.. it wont be cause im sad..
Itll be cause im just getting rid of it. of him. of this stupid feeling.
&itll be okay to smile once again :]
Im now sure that ive done nothing wrong...
therefore this feeling.. is pointless.
I dont regret anything thats happened, & everything i allowed myself to do.. i dont regret it.. not one bit.
Im glad it happened.
Thank you for this wonderful time you showed me.
&amazing things to made me feel. :]
"This is the last time we'll be friends again"...
I must go now.. good things await for me
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