(no subject)
So its february 1st and it feels like may 1st lol but thats because its so warm out... I want it to be friday because its been so exhausting....
monday twirling
tuesday ballet 2 hours
wednesday parp thing and girl scouts vestiture ceremony
thursday library class and homework
I think back on the last three months and its hard to think about it, I walked the walt whitman mall the other day after going to johns shop to check out childrens place for an owl hat for ems and I kept thinking crap I better not run into anyone. I cried monday and yestarday because I read Worth fighting for by Lisa Niemi Swayze and her battle losing her husband actor patrick swayze and i remember my grandmother, my cousin and my dad all fighting cancer and only one survived my dad. he was given weeks and he lived for 22 months fighting like hell to live. The littlest thing happens and I am ready to throw in the towel. How weak am I??? I lost a job oh well it happens. I am banned from shopping at dennys. which should be whatever I did something stupid, i didnt commit a real crime. I hurt people I love but to end it all when there are thousands of people in the world fighting to live. People that would do anything to have their health back and I am healthy and trying to die. Who am I???? I buried my cousin in 1999 and my grandmother a year later and my dad fought it in 2004. I should be trying to be in amazing shape and trying to eleminate all risk factors!! I cant even think about it... I have cleaning to do and catching up on my life to do, and running to do in the morning after i drop ems at school. I am going to be alive when Emily graduates college, and gets married and has kids.
monday twirling
tuesday ballet 2 hours
wednesday parp thing and girl scouts vestiture ceremony
thursday library class and homework
I think back on the last three months and its hard to think about it, I walked the walt whitman mall the other day after going to johns shop to check out childrens place for an owl hat for ems and I kept thinking crap I better not run into anyone. I cried monday and yestarday because I read Worth fighting for by Lisa Niemi Swayze and her battle losing her husband actor patrick swayze and i remember my grandmother, my cousin and my dad all fighting cancer and only one survived my dad. he was given weeks and he lived for 22 months fighting like hell to live. The littlest thing happens and I am ready to throw in the towel. How weak am I??? I lost a job oh well it happens. I am banned from shopping at dennys. which should be whatever I did something stupid, i didnt commit a real crime. I hurt people I love but to end it all when there are thousands of people in the world fighting to live. People that would do anything to have their health back and I am healthy and trying to die. Who am I???? I buried my cousin in 1999 and my grandmother a year later and my dad fought it in 2004. I should be trying to be in amazing shape and trying to eleminate all risk factors!! I cant even think about it... I have cleaning to do and catching up on my life to do, and running to do in the morning after i drop ems at school. I am going to be alive when Emily graduates college, and gets married and has kids.