Comments | starno_star: won't you join me now, baby's looking torn and frayed

lockless_key in starno_star

won't you join me now, baby's looking torn and frayed

Sep 19, 2005 13:29

I think it was mostly shock and exhaustion, but my head cleared as soon as I hit the pillow. I thought I was going to stay up, staring at the ceiling and thinking all night long, but I was out. For all of four hours. Didn't even dream ( Read more... )

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sired1880spike September 20 2005, 15:41:23 UTC

I left the girl in the alleyway. I can feel her blood in my veins now; it's about the only time I feel like I've got a pulse, when I've just fed. I wonder sometimes how I manage to do anything at all without a pulse, but I guess that's magic for you. Its rhyme and reason are difficult to fathom ( ... )

lockless_key September 21 2005, 07:09:16 UTC

I curl up in the chair as Spike comes towards me, and wrap both hands around the cup of coffee. It's only half-caf, so I shouldn't be up all night. Not that it matters. I can run fine on three hours of sleep and I catch up on the weekends ( ... )

sired1880spike September 22 2005, 11:18:40 UTC

Dawn holds out the coffee cup ( ... )

lockless_key September 23 2005, 03:07:06 UTC

Mom used to make us hot chocolate. I remember. She'd always put the little marshmallows in them because Spike liked them. And she'd liked Spike. I think partly why I got along with him so well was because mom did. Buffy obviously never did but I trusted mom's tastes more.

I smirk as the waitress brings him the mug and sip my own coffee. "Yeah, you're badass," I remark on his drink of choice. At least he knows how stupid it is. Well, not really stupid, just dorky and kind of cute. Hot chocolate. Thrill me.

Staring at the murky depths of my coffee, I ponder his question for a bit. What do I want to do? "I want to travel," I say suddenly, without even thinking about it. And it's true, 'cause I do. Want to travel. "I want to get out of here. Sunnydale is nothing but bad stuff for me now. It's too small." I shrug, feeling the soft inside of the sweatshirt shift against my skin. This town is restricting me, dragging me down. I know I have to get out ( ... )

sired1880spike September 23 2005, 15:34:27 UTC

"Yeah, you're badass," Dawn says, and I smile and remember when she rolled her eyes at me and said she was badder than me, and I'd been glad that she'd never really known me without the chip ( ... )

lockless_key September 24 2005, 02:59:46 UTC

"You said London." Still staring down into my coffee, I smile slighly and slowly raise my eyes to his face. Who knows if he'll still be around when I graduate. Who knows if he'll want to travel with me and if he won't leave me in some strange foreign city halfway across the world ( ... )

sired1880spike September 25 2005, 14:00:17 UTC

London. Yes, it would be good to go back. I miss it. I've seen it on TV over the last few years, watched how it's changed, but I haven't stepped foot on English soil in too many years. I was born in London more than 150 years ago, and I think someday soon it'll be time to go back.

But for now, I want to make sure Dawn gets through the next year or so of her life without buggering it up too much. I've got a lot to atone for when it comes to her.

I sound like bloody Angel, don't I?

Dawn looks over at me when I ask her what she wants to do,

"Anything in mind?I shrug back at her ( ... )

lockless_key September 25 2005, 20:10:48 UTC

Spike's thinking so hard, I can almost see the little wheels turning underneath his bleached hair. What are we gonna do with little Dawnie now, eh? All fucked up and nowhere to go. Or something. I almost want to say, hey, if it's so much responsibility, don't stick around, but he came back because I guess he wanted the responsibility. Or felt bad for not sticking around the first time. Regardless ( ... )

sired1880spike September 26 2005, 14:34:40 UTC

"As a matter of fact, I do," I say, grinning at Dawn. She's rolling her eyes but it's just for show, I can tell that. Things are getting more comfortable between us ( ... )

lockless_key September 26 2005, 22:06:46 UTC

"Step up from a demon bar." The place isn't too bad, a little shady-like, but who am I to judge? I'm not big on decor lately, it's all about what's inside. And what's in here is some good, greasy, solid food. And that's all good ( ... )

sired1880spike September 28 2005, 14:09:54 UTC

I sigh as Dawn bristles at me. One step forward, two steps back seems to be how we're playing the game at the moment. I know I sounded too parental. Funny how William the Bloody, who never had a responsible thought in his head, could turn into such a sodding nag.

I light another cigarette and raise my free hand in surrender.
"Alright, pet. Forget I said it. I know you're old enough to fend for yourself. Just want to help you out if needs be."

I sit back in my chair and watch her eat. It reminds me of the days when Dawn would perform her cereal experiments, except back then her mouth wasn't quite as ripe, and her cheekbones were better hidden under childish flesh.

I don't know why I'm thinking like this.

"So where have you been, other than not here?"

I shrug.

"Here and there," I say. "For the first few months I didn't really drag myself out of California. I spent some time in South America, too. Brazil, mostly. Rio and all that." And jungles and tiny towns where I was demonio peligroso. But I don't talk about that, ( ... )

lockless_key September 28 2005, 18:42:45 UTC

"Ooh, Rio. Were you there for the Carnivale? That'd be pretty cool to see." Add another place to Dawn's list of Places She Will Never Go. Although I shouldn't keep thinking like this. I remember when I used to be the optimist. Although I guess I'm the only one now, so it doesn't matter what stance I take ( ... )

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