FIC: Confessions 1/1 FR13, Willow/Faith interaction
Title: Confessions 1/1
Author: Sweetness
Pairing: Faith/Willow interaction
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: The Buffyverse belongs to Joss Whedon and company.
Notes: Written for thelastgoodname for the Faith Ficathon. Set in between “Orpheus” and “Dirty Girls” (ATS Season Four/BTVS Season Seven.) Also written for au100 for prompt #96 (writer’s choice) and for fanfic100 for prompt #99 (writer’s choice.)
As they left the Hyperion, both Willow and Faith were reeling from the night’s experiences. The drug that Faith had taken to bring down Angelus was still in her system and the fight in Angel’s mind had worn her out. And magic was still racing in Willow’s veins, and the redhead was feeling lightheaded from the battle with the enemy who had had Angel’s soul. Even though both women wanted nothing more than to sleep, they both knew that they didn’t have any time to spare. The situation in Sunnydale was too volatile and both Willow and Faith knew that the sooner they got to Sunnydale the better things would be.
The drive had started out with a tense silence since the past between them was still a strong force. Faith wasn’t sure what to say to Willow when she had tormented her and even had gone as far a to threaten her life. If it had been anyone else from Sunnydale, Faith knew that she would have been more comfortable with them than she was with Willow. Yet the tension between her and Willow had gone beyond simple jealousy over Buffy. There had been something about the redhead that had attracted Faith and it had led her to be callous and cruel to the redhead before and after she had turned to the Mayor.
As she watched the other cars on the highway pass by them, Faith was unsure of what she could say to break the uneasy silence. A simple “I’m sorry,” didn’t really seem to be appropriate. A sorry couldn’t erase the pain and fear that the brunette had caused Willow to experience. Yet Faith didn’t want to leave the past between her and Willow unspoken, she knew that she needed the redhead’s forgiveness so that she could move on with both her life and her search for redemption. She now realized what Angel had said about how hard it was facing their victims.
“So would you have killed Angelus if you had to?” Willow asked breaking the silence.
“Ya know I didn’t really think that far ahead. I just wanted to bring him in, but yeah I guess if it had come down to it, I would have killed him.”
”Oh,” Willow quietly responded.
“If it came down to it, I can’t let sentimentality guide me. Without his soul, he ain’t Angel anymore. He’s just a psycho who will kill and destroy anything that’s innocent and pure.”
”I wasn’t judging you Faith. And trust me when I say that I’d never mistake Angelus for Angel. I Just don’t think that I could do that if I had the choice, even knowing the difference.”
”Come on Willow, if it came down to it, I think that you could.”
”I couldn’t even kill my own vampire double, even though I knew she was evil. I just kept seeing myself reflected in her eyes and I couldn’t do it. I sent her back to her world so that she could kill more.”
”That’s different.”
”How?”
”Because maybe in her world, that was the correct way of things.”
”Evil’s never right,” Willow bitterly said.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Faith hollowly replied.
Silence descended on the two as Willow continued to navigate the car towards Sunnydale. There seemed to be less traffic on the highway as Faith resumed her watch as the miles passed them by. She knew now that nothing that she could say to Willow would ever make up for the damage that she had done. There was no doubt in Faith’s mind that Willow still saw her as evil, not that Faith could blame the redhead for that assessment. Sometimes Faith still wondered how good she truly was; after all she had still killed people for no other reason than to gain the Mayor’s love and affection. She had known that the Ascension was wrong but she had still followed him because he had showered her with the love that her life had been missing for so long.
“You know that you don’t need to apologize to me,” Willow quietly stated.
”Yeah I do.”
”I know what it’s like too.”
”Yeah right,” Faith said as Willow pulled to the side of the highway.
“I do, I know how it feels when you have the power of life and death over someone else. How good it feels when you know that you have absolute power over another person,” Willow flatly stated as she stared out the windshield so that she could avoid seeing the disgust that she believed would be in Faith’s eyes.
Faith could almost taste the intense pleasure that she had experienced when she had killed for the Mayor. She shivered and crossed her arms against her chest as she continued to stare out of the window as well. Faith was scared to look at Willow because of what she might see reflected in the redhead’s green eyes. For a moment, Faith wished that she were back in prison where it had been easier to escape the darkness in her. She didn’t want to think, know or even believe that Willow was capable of the same violence that she had once been capable of, but at the same time the brunette needed to know.
”How?”
The simple question seemed to hang in the air between them as Willow slowly gathered the courage to bring up her fall from grace. Sometimes talking about it only made it harder for her to resist giving into the magic that raced through her veins. Especially after the battle she had just had to win back Angel’s soul, and then casting the curse. Her flesh crawled with the sensation and Willow knew how easy it would be for her to give into the magic at that moment.
“It first started when I raised Buffy from the dead. I had convinced myself that I was doing it for purely selfless reasons. That I was doing it because she was in a Hell dimension and because Sunnydale needed a Slayer, and I even told myself that I was raising her because Giles was too afraid to do it himself. And then I had my first taste of the power of life and death and it was intoxicating. Later on when Buffy annoyed me with her self-righteousness, I’d think about how I had taken her from her grave and how I could easily put her back there. And then when Tara was shot, I needed to avenge her death. I wanted to kill everyone and to destroy everything. Yet while I was doing that, all I could feel was the most intense pleasure that I’d ever felt.”
Faith silently processed what Willow had told her and she was unsure of what to say. There wasn’t a thing that she could say that wouldn’t trivialize what the redhead had just confessed to her. At the same time, Faith knew what Willow meant when she said that the power of life and death had been the most intense pleasure she had felt. When Faith had been killing for the Mayor she had experienced that pleasure herself and it had become like a drug for her. And she knew that it had no doubt been the same for Willow as it had been for her.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Faith. I know how seductive that darkness is. And Giles told me that you were willing to sacrifice your life when Buffy had sacrificed her life, so that another Slayer would be called. When he told me that I realized that you had truly changed and that you weren’t the same person who had held that knife against my throat back then.”
”Giles should never have told you that,” Faith said.
”I know but he only told me that when I didn’t believe that I deserved a second chance, much less believed that I could find redemption. He wanted me to see that if you had, then I could as well.”
The two sat in silence, both lost in their own private worlds of pain and redemption. Willow gripped the steering wheel and Faith wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her somehow, but the moment was quickly lost. The redhead started the car and once again they were on their way to Sunnydale. As Willow started to explain in depth what had been happening in Sunnydale, Faith realized that she had just found an unlikely ally in the redhead.
**END**
Author: Sweetness
Pairing: Faith/Willow interaction
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: The Buffyverse belongs to Joss Whedon and company.
Notes: Written for thelastgoodname for the Faith Ficathon. Set in between “Orpheus” and “Dirty Girls” (ATS Season Four/BTVS Season Seven.) Also written for au100 for prompt #96 (writer’s choice) and for fanfic100 for prompt #99 (writer’s choice.)
As they left the Hyperion, both Willow and Faith were reeling from the night’s experiences. The drug that Faith had taken to bring down Angelus was still in her system and the fight in Angel’s mind had worn her out. And magic was still racing in Willow’s veins, and the redhead was feeling lightheaded from the battle with the enemy who had had Angel’s soul. Even though both women wanted nothing more than to sleep, they both knew that they didn’t have any time to spare. The situation in Sunnydale was too volatile and both Willow and Faith knew that the sooner they got to Sunnydale the better things would be.
The drive had started out with a tense silence since the past between them was still a strong force. Faith wasn’t sure what to say to Willow when she had tormented her and even had gone as far a to threaten her life. If it had been anyone else from Sunnydale, Faith knew that she would have been more comfortable with them than she was with Willow. Yet the tension between her and Willow had gone beyond simple jealousy over Buffy. There had been something about the redhead that had attracted Faith and it had led her to be callous and cruel to the redhead before and after she had turned to the Mayor.
As she watched the other cars on the highway pass by them, Faith was unsure of what she could say to break the uneasy silence. A simple “I’m sorry,” didn’t really seem to be appropriate. A sorry couldn’t erase the pain and fear that the brunette had caused Willow to experience. Yet Faith didn’t want to leave the past between her and Willow unspoken, she knew that she needed the redhead’s forgiveness so that she could move on with both her life and her search for redemption. She now realized what Angel had said about how hard it was facing their victims.
“So would you have killed Angelus if you had to?” Willow asked breaking the silence.
“Ya know I didn’t really think that far ahead. I just wanted to bring him in, but yeah I guess if it had come down to it, I would have killed him.”
”Oh,” Willow quietly responded.
“If it came down to it, I can’t let sentimentality guide me. Without his soul, he ain’t Angel anymore. He’s just a psycho who will kill and destroy anything that’s innocent and pure.”
”I wasn’t judging you Faith. And trust me when I say that I’d never mistake Angelus for Angel. I Just don’t think that I could do that if I had the choice, even knowing the difference.”
”Come on Willow, if it came down to it, I think that you could.”
”I couldn’t even kill my own vampire double, even though I knew she was evil. I just kept seeing myself reflected in her eyes and I couldn’t do it. I sent her back to her world so that she could kill more.”
”That’s different.”
”How?”
”Because maybe in her world, that was the correct way of things.”
”Evil’s never right,” Willow bitterly said.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Faith hollowly replied.
Silence descended on the two as Willow continued to navigate the car towards Sunnydale. There seemed to be less traffic on the highway as Faith resumed her watch as the miles passed them by. She knew now that nothing that she could say to Willow would ever make up for the damage that she had done. There was no doubt in Faith’s mind that Willow still saw her as evil, not that Faith could blame the redhead for that assessment. Sometimes Faith still wondered how good she truly was; after all she had still killed people for no other reason than to gain the Mayor’s love and affection. She had known that the Ascension was wrong but she had still followed him because he had showered her with the love that her life had been missing for so long.
“You know that you don’t need to apologize to me,” Willow quietly stated.
”Yeah I do.”
”I know what it’s like too.”
”Yeah right,” Faith said as Willow pulled to the side of the highway.
“I do, I know how it feels when you have the power of life and death over someone else. How good it feels when you know that you have absolute power over another person,” Willow flatly stated as she stared out the windshield so that she could avoid seeing the disgust that she believed would be in Faith’s eyes.
Faith could almost taste the intense pleasure that she had experienced when she had killed for the Mayor. She shivered and crossed her arms against her chest as she continued to stare out of the window as well. Faith was scared to look at Willow because of what she might see reflected in the redhead’s green eyes. For a moment, Faith wished that she were back in prison where it had been easier to escape the darkness in her. She didn’t want to think, know or even believe that Willow was capable of the same violence that she had once been capable of, but at the same time the brunette needed to know.
”How?”
The simple question seemed to hang in the air between them as Willow slowly gathered the courage to bring up her fall from grace. Sometimes talking about it only made it harder for her to resist giving into the magic that raced through her veins. Especially after the battle she had just had to win back Angel’s soul, and then casting the curse. Her flesh crawled with the sensation and Willow knew how easy it would be for her to give into the magic at that moment.
“It first started when I raised Buffy from the dead. I had convinced myself that I was doing it for purely selfless reasons. That I was doing it because she was in a Hell dimension and because Sunnydale needed a Slayer, and I even told myself that I was raising her because Giles was too afraid to do it himself. And then I had my first taste of the power of life and death and it was intoxicating. Later on when Buffy annoyed me with her self-righteousness, I’d think about how I had taken her from her grave and how I could easily put her back there. And then when Tara was shot, I needed to avenge her death. I wanted to kill everyone and to destroy everything. Yet while I was doing that, all I could feel was the most intense pleasure that I’d ever felt.”
Faith silently processed what Willow had told her and she was unsure of what to say. There wasn’t a thing that she could say that wouldn’t trivialize what the redhead had just confessed to her. At the same time, Faith knew what Willow meant when she said that the power of life and death had been the most intense pleasure she had felt. When Faith had been killing for the Mayor she had experienced that pleasure herself and it had become like a drug for her. And she knew that it had no doubt been the same for Willow as it had been for her.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Faith. I know how seductive that darkness is. And Giles told me that you were willing to sacrifice your life when Buffy had sacrificed her life, so that another Slayer would be called. When he told me that I realized that you had truly changed and that you weren’t the same person who had held that knife against my throat back then.”
”Giles should never have told you that,” Faith said.
”I know but he only told me that when I didn’t believe that I deserved a second chance, much less believed that I could find redemption. He wanted me to see that if you had, then I could as well.”
The two sat in silence, both lost in their own private worlds of pain and redemption. Willow gripped the steering wheel and Faith wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her somehow, but the moment was quickly lost. The redhead started the car and once again they were on their way to Sunnydale. As Willow started to explain in depth what had been happening in Sunnydale, Faith realized that she had just found an unlikely ally in the redhead.
**END**