(no subject)
I'm usually known as the opptimistic one. But what if I'm not? What if deep down, I think life is just one huge cruel thing, that beats you to your lowest point, gives you a spot of hope, then beats you down again? What if in reality, I just don't care? What if I just hate everything and I don't understand any of what I think?
I'm just the person that gives the spot of hope when life beats you down. Even when I don't believe the hope I'm giving. I just feel the need to give it.
I'm put on a front most of the time. Half the time when I'm smiling, I don't mean it. I just want you to think I mean it. Usually it works.
Life has beaten me to the ground, farther down than most people know. He's my spot of hope. For once, someone is giving the spot of hope besides me. I'm just waiting for life to come and take it away. He's giving the spot of hope, and I'm not sure if he believes it. I hope he does. But that's just me giving my own spot of hope.
If only people could read what I was really thinking and how I was really feeling. If only I always knew the right thing to say. If only life were as simple as 42. If only I could stop worrying about people judging me and looking down at me.
Maybe if people didn't give me a reason to, I wouldn't worry about people judging me. I really wouldn't care about what people think. I say that I don't care, but deep down, it means everything.
I just want to be loved by everyone. Without having to fake a smile or provide the hope. No matter what I do though, there's those people. Those people that just won't get over it. The people who don't let you live happy. The people who have to torment you and ruin everything. The people who always have to be right and make you feel like dirt. The people who judge every move you make and every word you say. The people who expect everyone to be JUST like them. People who think they're perfect and expect you to be. People who put down your beliefs just because its not their own. People who, no matter how hard you try, say you're doing everything wrong. People who never except your imperfections, they just point them out.
Those people that are apart of life and take away your spot of hope.
I'm just the person that gives the spot of hope when life beats you down. Even when I don't believe the hope I'm giving. I just feel the need to give it.
I'm put on a front most of the time. Half the time when I'm smiling, I don't mean it. I just want you to think I mean it. Usually it works.
Life has beaten me to the ground, farther down than most people know. He's my spot of hope. For once, someone is giving the spot of hope besides me. I'm just waiting for life to come and take it away. He's giving the spot of hope, and I'm not sure if he believes it. I hope he does. But that's just me giving my own spot of hope.
If only people could read what I was really thinking and how I was really feeling. If only I always knew the right thing to say. If only life were as simple as 42. If only I could stop worrying about people judging me and looking down at me.
Maybe if people didn't give me a reason to, I wouldn't worry about people judging me. I really wouldn't care about what people think. I say that I don't care, but deep down, it means everything.
I just want to be loved by everyone. Without having to fake a smile or provide the hope. No matter what I do though, there's those people. Those people that just won't get over it. The people who don't let you live happy. The people who have to torment you and ruin everything. The people who always have to be right and make you feel like dirt. The people who judge every move you make and every word you say. The people who expect everyone to be JUST like them. People who think they're perfect and expect you to be. People who put down your beliefs just because its not their own. People who, no matter how hard you try, say you're doing everything wrong. People who never except your imperfections, they just point them out.
Those people that are apart of life and take away your spot of hope.