(no subject)
My mind feels blank, empty, nothing there. No thoughts to drive me crazy. Of course I block out all thoughts to prevent me from being depressed, only the lack of thought depresses me. Then I open my mind and let thoughts come out and I begin the depression.
Thought: Why can't I be happy like other people? I have dreams and hopes though they seem so far away, almost out of my grasp. Yet, for others it seems like they have it made, they can do what I can only hope to do someday. I only hope they enjoy and cherish the fact that they have it.
Thought: Will I be able to pass the classes I'm about to take to make my parents happy? I will starting online classes jan 8 and they scare me to death for if I find I have no interest in the classes I will not pass and I will have let down my parents yet again.
Thought: Why is it I finally have found the Love I have been dreaming about, yet I feel so alone? I love my boyfriend, he is more than what I could ever ask for. He puts me on that pedistal that I finally feel I deserve to be on all because he has shown me how to love myself. Yet, sometimes not all the time but sometimes when he isn't around I feel empty and alone and I crave his touch, his embrace, his words, his song, his warmth, and his love. He lives roughly an hour away from me so we don't get to see each other everyday like other couples might be able to do. But what time we do have together seems so magical, so happy, and so worth the wait.
Thought: Why can't I be happy like other people? I have dreams and hopes though they seem so far away, almost out of my grasp. Yet, for others it seems like they have it made, they can do what I can only hope to do someday. I only hope they enjoy and cherish the fact that they have it.
Thought: Will I be able to pass the classes I'm about to take to make my parents happy? I will starting online classes jan 8 and they scare me to death for if I find I have no interest in the classes I will not pass and I will have let down my parents yet again.
Thought: Why is it I finally have found the Love I have been dreaming about, yet I feel so alone? I love my boyfriend, he is more than what I could ever ask for. He puts me on that pedistal that I finally feel I deserve to be on all because he has shown me how to love myself. Yet, sometimes not all the time but sometimes when he isn't around I feel empty and alone and I crave his touch, his embrace, his words, his song, his warmth, and his love. He lives roughly an hour away from me so we don't get to see each other everyday like other couples might be able to do. But what time we do have together seems so magical, so happy, and so worth the wait.