Come away with me and I will write you a song
Hello, out there in Cyberworld-
It's Amy. Remember me?
Today is a rainy day, and rainy days make me more introspective. I must apologize for not visiting for awhile. I've stopped writing down everything that I feel and analyzing it. Life's just easier that way. Still, this afternoon I couldn't help but doing a little thinking, so i figured that it wouldn't hurt to write down those thoughts, just this once.
Life, as I have always understood it, is supposed to grow less and less confusing as it goes along. Sometimes I feel that is the case, and sometimes I feel like I know less now than I did four or five years ago. What's more, sometimes I feel that life, indeed, has become more simple. I can see the bottom line a lot more easily, but I am not always satisfied with that bottom line. I wonder more and more just what will happen to me in this life.
I wrote myself a letter when I was thirteen years old. It was addressed to my eighteen year old self. I asked myself so many questions about the kind of life that I led, the kind of person that I ended up with, whether or not I was happy, who my friends were. I count down to my eighteenth birthday just so that I can read what that little girl had to say. She was something else. I swear, something happened between fourteen and fifteen. Does that something happen to every child? To every girl? Or was it just me? It's funny though because as much as I feel like I have changed so much in the past five years, I feel like I have not changed at all. I still feel that feeling when I hear that song. I still have to chuckle when I see that picture. It is those things that I doubt will ever change.
In just a few months, I will start a completely new phase of my life. Nothing will be the way that I have gotten used to ever again. In just a few months, life will suddenly become the real deal. The words that I say (or don't say) will all of a sudden begin to matter. Pretty soon I will not be able to chalk my bad decisions up to youthful ignorance. Pretty soon I have to start living it right. Nothing feels as new and scary as you think it is going to feel before you do it. I'm aware of that. Still, though, I feel that I better hang on tight, because change is just around the corner.
I love to watch people. Just to analyze their behavior and their relationships. I see people who are incredibly vulnerable, and I see people who are incredibly closed. Some people are so in love that it seems nothing can ever change the way they feel about the other person. Some people are so hurt because the person that they thought would never betray them, has. I wonder if one really can live life holding other people at arm's length. Sometimes I wonder about it.
Then I look at my friends. I look at what they've all become. I can't help but analyzing the reasons for why I have remained so close with some of them, and with others, I cannot see their faces in my mind's eye.
It's Amy. Remember me?
Today is a rainy day, and rainy days make me more introspective. I must apologize for not visiting for awhile. I've stopped writing down everything that I feel and analyzing it. Life's just easier that way. Still, this afternoon I couldn't help but doing a little thinking, so i figured that it wouldn't hurt to write down those thoughts, just this once.
Life, as I have always understood it, is supposed to grow less and less confusing as it goes along. Sometimes I feel that is the case, and sometimes I feel like I know less now than I did four or five years ago. What's more, sometimes I feel that life, indeed, has become more simple. I can see the bottom line a lot more easily, but I am not always satisfied with that bottom line. I wonder more and more just what will happen to me in this life.
I wrote myself a letter when I was thirteen years old. It was addressed to my eighteen year old self. I asked myself so many questions about the kind of life that I led, the kind of person that I ended up with, whether or not I was happy, who my friends were. I count down to my eighteenth birthday just so that I can read what that little girl had to say. She was something else. I swear, something happened between fourteen and fifteen. Does that something happen to every child? To every girl? Or was it just me? It's funny though because as much as I feel like I have changed so much in the past five years, I feel like I have not changed at all. I still feel that feeling when I hear that song. I still have to chuckle when I see that picture. It is those things that I doubt will ever change.
In just a few months, I will start a completely new phase of my life. Nothing will be the way that I have gotten used to ever again. In just a few months, life will suddenly become the real deal. The words that I say (or don't say) will all of a sudden begin to matter. Pretty soon I will not be able to chalk my bad decisions up to youthful ignorance. Pretty soon I have to start living it right. Nothing feels as new and scary as you think it is going to feel before you do it. I'm aware of that. Still, though, I feel that I better hang on tight, because change is just around the corner.
I love to watch people. Just to analyze their behavior and their relationships. I see people who are incredibly vulnerable, and I see people who are incredibly closed. Some people are so in love that it seems nothing can ever change the way they feel about the other person. Some people are so hurt because the person that they thought would never betray them, has. I wonder if one really can live life holding other people at arm's length. Sometimes I wonder about it.
Then I look at my friends. I look at what they've all become. I can't help but analyzing the reasons for why I have remained so close with some of them, and with others, I cannot see their faces in my mind's eye.