Letting go.
When I became a mom, I thought I'd finally be a part of the Mom Club. I would get my jacket, an endless supply of tissues, and weekly techniques on how to not lose your shit. Instead I got some kind of towel covered in stickiness, empty boxes of tissues, and spans of time where I didn't think anyone knew I existed. Reality checks are a bitch. But reality is helpful, sometimes, in helping you... let's all hear it... let it go.
One of the hardest thing about becoming a mom was becoming my version of mom. I am a working mom. And I'm not going to sit here and point fingers at the different kind of moms and talk shit. But I am going to sit here and talk about what it means to me to be a working mom.
The biggest thing I had to learn was to let things go. I joined the Mom Club, but I had my own, separate working-mom clique. Most of my friends are stay-at-home moms. It took me a long time (and it can still be hard sometimes) to let go of feeling completely left out. I would hear about and/or see pictures of their random trips to parks, zoo outings, lunch dates, etc. and I would get so angry.
Why are they doing all these things without me?! Can't they attempt to make these outings happen on the weekend?!
I had to let that shit go. I am a working mom. I have a full-time job. I don't really have a choice in the matter, but even if I did - I would still work. And that means I will miss out on some kind of outing with my friends and their kids. Oh well. Does it kind of suck that they rarely plan weekend events? Yes. Can I accept that a working-mom-world for them might be hard to accommodate as a stay-at-home-mom-world is for me? Of course. Can I put on my adult-pants and plan weekend events and whoever can come, comes? Definitely. Is there a possibility that that will mean I won't have fun play-dates with my friends and their kids more than once a month? Guaranteed.
I had to stop being angry and accept that my working-mom clique has their own thing going on, and if I wanted something to change, I had to make that change happen. So, I started arranging weekend play-dates with other working moms. It's hard to remember to plan them in advance, considering I have so much to plan ahead every day, but I am getting better.
And letting go has made things easier. I stop thinking about how "nice it must be" and instead think about how I've got to get Aurelia to that park or look at my calendar to plan a future aquarium trip. It is freeing to accept yet another label for myself: working mom. Looks just as good as writer. Maybe even a little sexier.
the end.
One of the hardest thing about becoming a mom was becoming my version of mom. I am a working mom. And I'm not going to sit here and point fingers at the different kind of moms and talk shit. But I am going to sit here and talk about what it means to me to be a working mom.
The biggest thing I had to learn was to let things go. I joined the Mom Club, but I had my own, separate working-mom clique. Most of my friends are stay-at-home moms. It took me a long time (and it can still be hard sometimes) to let go of feeling completely left out. I would hear about and/or see pictures of their random trips to parks, zoo outings, lunch dates, etc. and I would get so angry.
Why are they doing all these things without me?! Can't they attempt to make these outings happen on the weekend?!
I had to let that shit go. I am a working mom. I have a full-time job. I don't really have a choice in the matter, but even if I did - I would still work. And that means I will miss out on some kind of outing with my friends and their kids. Oh well. Does it kind of suck that they rarely plan weekend events? Yes. Can I accept that a working-mom-world for them might be hard to accommodate as a stay-at-home-mom-world is for me? Of course. Can I put on my adult-pants and plan weekend events and whoever can come, comes? Definitely. Is there a possibility that that will mean I won't have fun play-dates with my friends and their kids more than once a month? Guaranteed.
I had to stop being angry and accept that my working-mom clique has their own thing going on, and if I wanted something to change, I had to make that change happen. So, I started arranging weekend play-dates with other working moms. It's hard to remember to plan them in advance, considering I have so much to plan ahead every day, but I am getting better.
And letting go has made things easier. I stop thinking about how "nice it must be" and instead think about how I've got to get Aurelia to that park or look at my calendar to plan a future aquarium trip. It is freeing to accept yet another label for myself: working mom. Looks just as good as writer. Maybe even a little sexier.
the end.