Commit dit-on...?
Commit dit-on... How do you say... I guess I've lost that. How to just... talk. I either talk and say something inadventently wrong, or think too hard about trying to say the right thing and lose my place.
This weekend a friend hosted a big playdate. All our kids were doing their thing, so the parents were doing their thing. A friend asked me how I was, and... I didn't know how to answer. I wanted to say:
Today, I'm torn because Nick was so drunk last night while hosting Poker Night that when he left the house to get Korean soup down the street with friends sometime around 1-2AM, he completely left all the windows open and lights on for anyone to break-in while Arri and I were sleeping. I'm not angry as much as so confused and disappointed.
But I don't think that's really party-talk, so instead I say something about being okay, working a lot, happy that Nick is done with school and has a job. I don't take the road to talk about how...
I'm so damn thankful he found a job because I don't have to be scared shitless about our finanaces. But I am currently freaking out about my parents and if they are completely drowning (whether by their own doing or not) in debt and aren't talking about it because my family doesn't talk about money. Want my family to shut-up, point-blank? Talk about sex and/or money. Done.
But that's also not really small chit-chat either. So, instead of saying the things in my head, I talked about my parents buying a crappy tent-fort that was kind of like what my friend had up in her yard. But I inadvertently called her tent crappy. I realized it after it left my mouth, but I knew any attempt to retract and say that her structure was great and what I meant was my parent's tent is a piece of shit, would just sound like I was trying to cover up...
Seriously, just stop talking.
WTF is going on?! Is my inability to just have a simple conversation because I am not really saying what's on my mind? Are the conversations moving too quickly for me to keep up? Is everything I say just TL:DL, so why talk anyway?
I hate feeling like I have to fight for a spot at the talking-table. I guess that's why I like smaller gatherings. I can have more one-on-one conversations and not feel like I have to compete for talking-space. I want to hear what's going on. I want to hear your long story because, inevitably, I will have a long story to share too. C'mon, let's get comfy and share, with a bottle of wine. Otherwise, I'll be the girl over in the corner, smiling and nodding while other people talk.
the end.
This weekend a friend hosted a big playdate. All our kids were doing their thing, so the parents were doing their thing. A friend asked me how I was, and... I didn't know how to answer. I wanted to say:
Today, I'm torn because Nick was so drunk last night while hosting Poker Night that when he left the house to get Korean soup down the street with friends sometime around 1-2AM, he completely left all the windows open and lights on for anyone to break-in while Arri and I were sleeping. I'm not angry as much as so confused and disappointed.
But I don't think that's really party-talk, so instead I say something about being okay, working a lot, happy that Nick is done with school and has a job. I don't take the road to talk about how...
I'm so damn thankful he found a job because I don't have to be scared shitless about our finanaces. But I am currently freaking out about my parents and if they are completely drowning (whether by their own doing or not) in debt and aren't talking about it because my family doesn't talk about money. Want my family to shut-up, point-blank? Talk about sex and/or money. Done.
But that's also not really small chit-chat either. So, instead of saying the things in my head, I talked about my parents buying a crappy tent-fort that was kind of like what my friend had up in her yard. But I inadvertently called her tent crappy. I realized it after it left my mouth, but I knew any attempt to retract and say that her structure was great and what I meant was my parent's tent is a piece of shit, would just sound like I was trying to cover up...
Seriously, just stop talking.
WTF is going on?! Is my inability to just have a simple conversation because I am not really saying what's on my mind? Are the conversations moving too quickly for me to keep up? Is everything I say just TL:DL, so why talk anyway?
I hate feeling like I have to fight for a spot at the talking-table. I guess that's why I like smaller gatherings. I can have more one-on-one conversations and not feel like I have to compete for talking-space. I want to hear what's going on. I want to hear your long story because, inevitably, I will have a long story to share too. C'mon, let's get comfy and share, with a bottle of wine. Otherwise, I'll be the girl over in the corner, smiling and nodding while other people talk.
the end.