See it through my eyes (sequel to 'Crave')
Title: See it through my eyes
Chapter: 1/1
POV: First person, Danny's POV
Author: stargirl82
Fandom: McFly
Pairing: Flones (Tom Fletcher/Danny Jones)
Rating: PG
Warnings: hurt/comfort.
Wordcount: 1976
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own. This isn't real.
Author's note: by popular demand, here's the awaited sequel to Crave. Enjoy.
I was sitting in the bedroom of my spacious loft that had a great view over the Thames, getting a manicure when I received the call. Unsuspecting the bad news, I simply shooed the pretty brunette girl out of my bedroom, telling her to wait in the lounge before I pressed the button to accept the call. In no way had I ever expected my manager to call me, all in tears. At first I didn't even understand what she wanted. She was sobbing so hard that I had to make shushing noises and try to calm her down before she was able to tell me what was wrong.
As soon as I heard the words, it was like a slap in the face and I wished she hadn't said them. I wished that I could pretend that I hadn't understood her and that it wouldn't be true if only I didn't believe those words.
But it was pointless. I felt my insides turn into stone, my blood run cold as I listened to her heart-wrenching sobs. What the hell was she crying about? What was it to her? She wasn't the one who had just lost her job, her existence, her passion.
I couldn't say anything, couldn't think anything. After listening to her crying for a while longer, I let the silver mobile phone slip from my fingers. I heard the soft thud when it hit the wooden floor but it didn't register in my mind.
I had no idea how long I'd been sitting there when I heard footsteps and then the brunette girl entered my bedroom again, a questioning look on her face.
"Did you want me to continue?"
Shaking my head without even looking at her, I kept on staring at nothing. "No."
"Well, I'll just go then? Gimme a call whenever you want me to finish your nails."
This time, I nodded and watched her leave out of the corner of my eye. What did it matter? My world had just crumbled, lay shattered at my feet and I could do nothing but sit and stare into space. I felt like I should cry. Or Scream. Do something. But I couldn't.
Watching the sun go down, painting the sky a lovely shade of pink and orange, I sat completely motionless in my beloved rocking chair. What was I supposed to do now? Music was all I knew. I'd never studied or had a "normal" job. I didn't even have my A-Levels.
Of course I'd known that my last album hadn't sold as many copies as the ones before that. I'd known that the record label and I weren't on the same level since I couldn't do it right, apparently. It felt right to me but the label disagreed. All they wanted was to sell as many copies as possible. They didn't care if I liked singing and playing those songs. All they cared about was money. And I, well, I had become used to having money. I'd been so busy that I hardly had the time to meet friends. And come to think of it, they'd only always been there because I was the one paying for their meals and drinks. Did anyone even like me for me?
I'd been snobbish, probably even had my head in the clouds at times and thought I was better than most people but despite common belief, I wasn't stupid. I knew what they said about me. I knew that most people didn't want to be friends with Danny. They wanted to be friends with the famous Danny Jones. What they wanted was a piece of the pie. And because I'd been busy and glad that I had people that I could call friends, I'd put up with it.
However, I had drawn the line when it came to relationships. I'd never allowed myself to develop feelings for anyone, for fear that they would stomp on my heart and leave me with the shattered pieces. I'd had one night stands. Lots of them. I'd had lovers that stayed longer than one night. And then there was Tom. Tom, who I'd let come closer than anyone ever before. Tom, who always looked at me with such longing in his eyes that I could hardly bear it. Six months ago, I'd wanted to send him away. I could see something in his eyes that scared me. He was kind and loving. Always there when I needed him, my shoulder to lean on, to cry on even though I'd never allowed myself to actually do that. I wondered whether he'd leave when he found out that I'd lost my record deal.
***
The door bell rang but I couldn't be bothered to get up and see who was on the other side of the door. I was still sitting in my chair, staring at the dark sky and the few stars that I could make out. London really wasn't a good place to look up into the sky. Suddenly I wished I could go back to Bolton. Perhaps visit my grandparents. They owned this lovely cottage in the countryside and I wanted nothing more than sit by the fireplace and watch the flames flicker peacefully. There was something about fire that was strangely fascinating. I liked watching it but I never dared coming too close for fear of getting burned. Amazing how something simple like an open fire resembled my own life. Just like the fire, I was scared of committing myself to another person. I didn't want to be rejected, didn't know if I could deal with it.
My gaze shifted to my mobile on the floor. The display announced that I had an incoming call. At the same time I could hear the door bell again. Someone seemed eager to talk to me.
Sighing softly, I tried to make up my mind. I didn't really want to talk to anyone. I didn't want them to pity me. There was a louder noise now, someone was obviously banging on my front door. Maybe I should open the door after all before they decided to kick it in.
I slowly got up and shuffled over to the front door. It took me longer than it would have taken had I not been as upset. Well, upset was the wrong word, really because I felt numb. There were all these thoughts in my head and I knew that I should feel differently, that I should be scared or whatever but for some reason I felt detached from myself. It was almost like watching someone else.
When I'd finally reached the door, I didn't bother checking who was outside. I had a peephole in the door for exactly this purpose but why bother? If someone wanted to come in and steal from me or kill me, well, I wouldn't stop them. It didn't matter anymore. My life was pretty much over anyway.
But it wasn't a thief or a killer. Outside stood a slightly dishevelled, breathless Tom who seemed to be very upset about something. Now that I'd opened the door, I just stood there, staring at the blond as if I'd never seen him before, unable to do anything. But I didn't have to.
As soon as the door was open, Tom squeezed himself through the gap and immediately hugged me to him, kicking the door shut with his foot. "I'm - sorry I couldn't - be here - earlier," he panted, squeezing me hard. Why was he apologising? I didn't understand. None of this was his fault and I hadn't called him or anything, so why was he apologising for not being here sooner? He answered my unspoken question right away.
"As soon as Carol called me, I ran all the way over here. Are you okay?" His breathing had slowed down, he could speak normally again. So he knew. Then why was he here? I knew that he liked me but... did he like me enough to deal with all this shit? Did he really like me now that I wasn't rich and famous anymore? Well, I wouldn't have to go and live under a bridge anytime soon but still. I wouldn't be able to buy him everything he wanted (not that he'd ever let me buy expensive things for him. He'd even put up a fight when I bought him pricy jewellery for his birthday in the past.)
"Why are you here?"
They were the first words I'd spoken since I'd told the girl to leave a couple of hours ago.
Tom pulled back and stared at me as if I'd just said something really stupid.
"What are you talking about? I'm here to... well, be there for you. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone."
"But... how can you do this for me? After everything I've put you through?" I didn't get it. Why was he still here? I'd hurt him so many times. I knew it because he was an open book to me. It didn't even matter that I'd done it to protect myself, I had hurt him and he still came to comfort me even though he could have spent the day partying and laughing at me. Well, Tom didn't have it in him to laugh at people and be happy when they failed. In fact, I didn't think that Tom had a single bad bone in his very gorgeous body. But that wasn't the point. I didn't deserve his attention. I didn't deserve his affection. What I deserved was a kick in the balls for being such a stupid, stuck-up bastard.
And that's exactly what I told him. When I was finished, I found him staring at me in disbelief. What? Hadn't I made myself clear? Sighing, I tried to pull out of his embrace but he wouldn't let me.
"Danny, stop being so stupid. You need me. I know you do. I've had a lot of time to think in the past few months and I know that I'm not just someone you sleep with. It took me a while to figure it out and there was a lot of heartache involved." He shook his head when I opened my mouth to protest and brought a finger to my lips, effectively stopping me from voicing the words of self-hate.
"I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I just think you need to know. Yes, it hasn't been easy for me but I've made it through. I know that you like me. If you didn't you would have sent me away a long time ago. But you never did. You never told me to get lost. I know that you usually get bored easily but... I don't bore you, do I?"
He waited until I was shaking my head, then smiled, reaching up to cup my cheek softly, lovingly. "It may not seem like it right now but maybe this could be the start of something new. If you let me, I'll help you through. We can do this together."
I couldn't believe my own ears. What on earth had I done to deserve someone like him? Why hadn't he left me months ago? Why the hell had he ever decided to get involved with me? Oh, I'd never admitted it, I'd even told him that I didn't "do boyfriends" but the truth is that I hadn't been with other people since I'd met him. I'd spent pretty much all my spare time with him and heaven help me, but I didn't want to lose it. Tom was the best thing that had ever happened to me (other than music) and I didn't want to lose this, didn't want to lose him. Maybe I wasn't too late to show him that I really did care about him. A lot.
--
A/N 2: So, do you guys still think that Danny's a mean bastard? ;)
Chapter: 1/1
POV: First person, Danny's POV
Author: stargirl82
Fandom: McFly
Pairing: Flones (Tom Fletcher/Danny Jones)
Rating: PG
Warnings: hurt/comfort.
Wordcount: 1976
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own. This isn't real.
Author's note: by popular demand, here's the awaited sequel to Crave. Enjoy.
I was sitting in the bedroom of my spacious loft that had a great view over the Thames, getting a manicure when I received the call. Unsuspecting the bad news, I simply shooed the pretty brunette girl out of my bedroom, telling her to wait in the lounge before I pressed the button to accept the call. In no way had I ever expected my manager to call me, all in tears. At first I didn't even understand what she wanted. She was sobbing so hard that I had to make shushing noises and try to calm her down before she was able to tell me what was wrong.
As soon as I heard the words, it was like a slap in the face and I wished she hadn't said them. I wished that I could pretend that I hadn't understood her and that it wouldn't be true if only I didn't believe those words.
But it was pointless. I felt my insides turn into stone, my blood run cold as I listened to her heart-wrenching sobs. What the hell was she crying about? What was it to her? She wasn't the one who had just lost her job, her existence, her passion.
I couldn't say anything, couldn't think anything. After listening to her crying for a while longer, I let the silver mobile phone slip from my fingers. I heard the soft thud when it hit the wooden floor but it didn't register in my mind.
I had no idea how long I'd been sitting there when I heard footsteps and then the brunette girl entered my bedroom again, a questioning look on her face.
"Did you want me to continue?"
Shaking my head without even looking at her, I kept on staring at nothing. "No."
"Well, I'll just go then? Gimme a call whenever you want me to finish your nails."
This time, I nodded and watched her leave out of the corner of my eye. What did it matter? My world had just crumbled, lay shattered at my feet and I could do nothing but sit and stare into space. I felt like I should cry. Or Scream. Do something. But I couldn't.
Watching the sun go down, painting the sky a lovely shade of pink and orange, I sat completely motionless in my beloved rocking chair. What was I supposed to do now? Music was all I knew. I'd never studied or had a "normal" job. I didn't even have my A-Levels.
Of course I'd known that my last album hadn't sold as many copies as the ones before that. I'd known that the record label and I weren't on the same level since I couldn't do it right, apparently. It felt right to me but the label disagreed. All they wanted was to sell as many copies as possible. They didn't care if I liked singing and playing those songs. All they cared about was money. And I, well, I had become used to having money. I'd been so busy that I hardly had the time to meet friends. And come to think of it, they'd only always been there because I was the one paying for their meals and drinks. Did anyone even like me for me?
I'd been snobbish, probably even had my head in the clouds at times and thought I was better than most people but despite common belief, I wasn't stupid. I knew what they said about me. I knew that most people didn't want to be friends with Danny. They wanted to be friends with the famous Danny Jones. What they wanted was a piece of the pie. And because I'd been busy and glad that I had people that I could call friends, I'd put up with it.
However, I had drawn the line when it came to relationships. I'd never allowed myself to develop feelings for anyone, for fear that they would stomp on my heart and leave me with the shattered pieces. I'd had one night stands. Lots of them. I'd had lovers that stayed longer than one night. And then there was Tom. Tom, who I'd let come closer than anyone ever before. Tom, who always looked at me with such longing in his eyes that I could hardly bear it. Six months ago, I'd wanted to send him away. I could see something in his eyes that scared me. He was kind and loving. Always there when I needed him, my shoulder to lean on, to cry on even though I'd never allowed myself to actually do that. I wondered whether he'd leave when he found out that I'd lost my record deal.
***
The door bell rang but I couldn't be bothered to get up and see who was on the other side of the door. I was still sitting in my chair, staring at the dark sky and the few stars that I could make out. London really wasn't a good place to look up into the sky. Suddenly I wished I could go back to Bolton. Perhaps visit my grandparents. They owned this lovely cottage in the countryside and I wanted nothing more than sit by the fireplace and watch the flames flicker peacefully. There was something about fire that was strangely fascinating. I liked watching it but I never dared coming too close for fear of getting burned. Amazing how something simple like an open fire resembled my own life. Just like the fire, I was scared of committing myself to another person. I didn't want to be rejected, didn't know if I could deal with it.
My gaze shifted to my mobile on the floor. The display announced that I had an incoming call. At the same time I could hear the door bell again. Someone seemed eager to talk to me.
Sighing softly, I tried to make up my mind. I didn't really want to talk to anyone. I didn't want them to pity me. There was a louder noise now, someone was obviously banging on my front door. Maybe I should open the door after all before they decided to kick it in.
I slowly got up and shuffled over to the front door. It took me longer than it would have taken had I not been as upset. Well, upset was the wrong word, really because I felt numb. There were all these thoughts in my head and I knew that I should feel differently, that I should be scared or whatever but for some reason I felt detached from myself. It was almost like watching someone else.
When I'd finally reached the door, I didn't bother checking who was outside. I had a peephole in the door for exactly this purpose but why bother? If someone wanted to come in and steal from me or kill me, well, I wouldn't stop them. It didn't matter anymore. My life was pretty much over anyway.
But it wasn't a thief or a killer. Outside stood a slightly dishevelled, breathless Tom who seemed to be very upset about something. Now that I'd opened the door, I just stood there, staring at the blond as if I'd never seen him before, unable to do anything. But I didn't have to.
As soon as the door was open, Tom squeezed himself through the gap and immediately hugged me to him, kicking the door shut with his foot. "I'm - sorry I couldn't - be here - earlier," he panted, squeezing me hard. Why was he apologising? I didn't understand. None of this was his fault and I hadn't called him or anything, so why was he apologising for not being here sooner? He answered my unspoken question right away.
"As soon as Carol called me, I ran all the way over here. Are you okay?" His breathing had slowed down, he could speak normally again. So he knew. Then why was he here? I knew that he liked me but... did he like me enough to deal with all this shit? Did he really like me now that I wasn't rich and famous anymore? Well, I wouldn't have to go and live under a bridge anytime soon but still. I wouldn't be able to buy him everything he wanted (not that he'd ever let me buy expensive things for him. He'd even put up a fight when I bought him pricy jewellery for his birthday in the past.)
"Why are you here?"
They were the first words I'd spoken since I'd told the girl to leave a couple of hours ago.
Tom pulled back and stared at me as if I'd just said something really stupid.
"What are you talking about? I'm here to... well, be there for you. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone."
"But... how can you do this for me? After everything I've put you through?" I didn't get it. Why was he still here? I'd hurt him so many times. I knew it because he was an open book to me. It didn't even matter that I'd done it to protect myself, I had hurt him and he still came to comfort me even though he could have spent the day partying and laughing at me. Well, Tom didn't have it in him to laugh at people and be happy when they failed. In fact, I didn't think that Tom had a single bad bone in his very gorgeous body. But that wasn't the point. I didn't deserve his attention. I didn't deserve his affection. What I deserved was a kick in the balls for being such a stupid, stuck-up bastard.
And that's exactly what I told him. When I was finished, I found him staring at me in disbelief. What? Hadn't I made myself clear? Sighing, I tried to pull out of his embrace but he wouldn't let me.
"Danny, stop being so stupid. You need me. I know you do. I've had a lot of time to think in the past few months and I know that I'm not just someone you sleep with. It took me a while to figure it out and there was a lot of heartache involved." He shook his head when I opened my mouth to protest and brought a finger to my lips, effectively stopping me from voicing the words of self-hate.
"I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I just think you need to know. Yes, it hasn't been easy for me but I've made it through. I know that you like me. If you didn't you would have sent me away a long time ago. But you never did. You never told me to get lost. I know that you usually get bored easily but... I don't bore you, do I?"
He waited until I was shaking my head, then smiled, reaching up to cup my cheek softly, lovingly. "It may not seem like it right now but maybe this could be the start of something new. If you let me, I'll help you through. We can do this together."
I couldn't believe my own ears. What on earth had I done to deserve someone like him? Why hadn't he left me months ago? Why the hell had he ever decided to get involved with me? Oh, I'd never admitted it, I'd even told him that I didn't "do boyfriends" but the truth is that I hadn't been with other people since I'd met him. I'd spent pretty much all my spare time with him and heaven help me, but I didn't want to lose it. Tom was the best thing that had ever happened to me (other than music) and I didn't want to lose this, didn't want to lose him. Maybe I wasn't too late to show him that I really did care about him. A lot.
--
A/N 2: So, do you guys still think that Danny's a mean bastard? ;)