(no subject)
Ugggggggggh. I have such a raging headache and I can't get rid of it! NOT COOL. I was thinking of going outside and burying my head in the snow.. But then reality hit me and I quickly hid under a pillow instead. I am still cranking along, doing my masters and little kids school work. I know I am being greedy, but I could really use a delay tomorrow.
No training today. Sean emailed to cancel. I wrote back my usual "Sure, no problem", but I felt.. disconnected.. You see, Sean is my trainer. He has known me since I was in college. We are quickly approaching our 7th year of friendship, which is kinda cool. He stopped calling me his client a long time ago and only refers to me as his friend now. That is pretty awesome- the feeling of having someone totally support you in such a hard and long battle. He has seen me at my heaviest, and is still with me at my lightest. Never once has he given up on me..even when I have given up on myself. He's leaving the gym. He's not quitting me, but he is quitting the gym. I totally support him and will stand behind him, but I just can't help to feel mixed emotions. Yes, I know I am being selfish when I ask "What about me?", or anything of that sort. I am not doing this for him, I am doing it for me, but yet.. I feel I am not ready to do this on my own just yet. We spoke just last Friday, making all sorts of plans, food plans and goals. It just won't be the same.
...But alas! I will survive. Hey hey, I will survive.
No training today. Sean emailed to cancel. I wrote back my usual "Sure, no problem", but I felt.. disconnected.. You see, Sean is my trainer. He has known me since I was in college. We are quickly approaching our 7th year of friendship, which is kinda cool. He stopped calling me his client a long time ago and only refers to me as his friend now. That is pretty awesome- the feeling of having someone totally support you in such a hard and long battle. He has seen me at my heaviest, and is still with me at my lightest. Never once has he given up on me..even when I have given up on myself. He's leaving the gym. He's not quitting me, but he is quitting the gym. I totally support him and will stand behind him, but I just can't help to feel mixed emotions. Yes, I know I am being selfish when I ask "What about me?", or anything of that sort. I am not doing this for him, I am doing it for me, but yet.. I feel I am not ready to do this on my own just yet. We spoke just last Friday, making all sorts of plans, food plans and goals. It just won't be the same.
...But alas! I will survive. Hey hey, I will survive.