Will "baby fever" ever end??
So going back to a phrase that my friends, boyfriend and i have so thoughtfully made up..baby fever 2006 is so upon me (and a couple of other people i know)..its actually quite disgusting and i often think of myself with wonderment becuase when i do think that i want kids, i wonder where the old me went, the me that thought not so much kids?? So there are 3 people at work having babies, rayna's having a baby, hector's brother's fiance just had a baby, dan's sis is having twins!, we're going baby crazy... and becuase i'm in a relationship baby fever is that much worse. That i could actually have a baby...and the only thing stopping me is the....well you know its just a piece of plastic... we already have baby names!! we want a girl!!!!!
But... the thing that topped it all off tonite...TROY'S HAVING A BABY!!!
Dumbass me took a walk to drop off some stuff for a patient that was transferred to his floor, and i saw him and asked him what's new...and a)he just wasn't that excited to see me, b)he told me he was about to be engaged and c) *drumroll please* he told me "a little one was on the way" (direct quote)....
i could die, but then again i'm happy for him..whatever makes him happy...
and just finding out about troy just makes me think about how the world doesn't stop just because you have a new routine, life doesn't stop just becuase you've stopped hanging out, or calling this person...life goes on.... i wish him all the best but at the same time i realized my relationship with him just officially ended.
Last year at this time it was just me and him..and then everyone else, i was doing my CNA class, i was driving the mazda and hanging out going swimming all summer, i was on the verge of meeting simon....
I'll never forget my last day of CNA class, troy was so proud of me, he took me out for drinks at sidebar, and lo and behold i met simon....and never looked back... What i wouldn't give to have last summer back, how i felt last summer, free and independent and in love.
But maybe i'll look back on this summer with the same sort of fondness, becuase now i've got a guy that treats me like a princess and a full time job....
I know no one will understand all of this but me, some of you may get bits and pieces but i just needed to put that out there....
more later
But... the thing that topped it all off tonite...TROY'S HAVING A BABY!!!
Dumbass me took a walk to drop off some stuff for a patient that was transferred to his floor, and i saw him and asked him what's new...and a)he just wasn't that excited to see me, b)he told me he was about to be engaged and c) *drumroll please* he told me "a little one was on the way" (direct quote)....
i could die, but then again i'm happy for him..whatever makes him happy...
and just finding out about troy just makes me think about how the world doesn't stop just because you have a new routine, life doesn't stop just becuase you've stopped hanging out, or calling this person...life goes on.... i wish him all the best but at the same time i realized my relationship with him just officially ended.
Last year at this time it was just me and him..and then everyone else, i was doing my CNA class, i was driving the mazda and hanging out going swimming all summer, i was on the verge of meeting simon....
I'll never forget my last day of CNA class, troy was so proud of me, he took me out for drinks at sidebar, and lo and behold i met simon....and never looked back... What i wouldn't give to have last summer back, how i felt last summer, free and independent and in love.
But maybe i'll look back on this summer with the same sort of fondness, becuase now i've got a guy that treats me like a princess and a full time job....
I know no one will understand all of this but me, some of you may get bits and pieces but i just needed to put that out there....
more later