(no subject)
i don't think i've ever felt this secure in a relationship. they'll be times when i have my relapses and test my boundries, but he'll always find the right words to say to let me know that we'll be okay. and i hate him for that because i'm so scared of getting my heart broken. i've just been so stressed out lately that i feel like i'm letting him down by not being the same person he met. i want to be strong for him and i'm a weak little bitch. i can go to him with anything and not have him use it against me, except of course when he does something wrong and he takes me being upset wrong, but that's just him reacting to how he used to with his ex's. it's comforting how he's there for me. if i lost it, i don't know what i'd do right now. i think this is the first relationship i've ever had where i don't feel a power struggle. sure, when it comes down to a heated argument, we're both stubborn, but those never last longer than five minutes. i don't feel like i have to run the relationship and we're not working to make it work; it just works. it's amazing. i hope it doesn't change. he told me, "once i told you i love you it meant i accept you for who you are and i'm not leaving you" unless i turn into a headcase or a whore who cheats on him he had to add onto the end. i hope my insecurities don't get to him.