Letter to a friend
I wrote this letter to my friend who has also been trouble having finding a legal job. Well, she had one, but she got laid off so she's unemployed now. She gave me a hilarious run-down of how she spends her days. So, I responded with my own run-down. It's so true (and hence, so funny) that I couldn't miss the opportunity to post this. I'm hope Erin's right when she says one day Mike and I will look back on these poor, scary times and laugh.
Stephanie_________________________________________________________________________
I loved your details about how you spend your day.
Here's mine: Wake up around 10:00 or 11:00, and wish that I had gotten up early and went to the gym. Oh, well. "Maybe I'll go tonight." I pour some cereal. Our bowls are big so it's probably about double what a true serving size should be. I think, "I should eat less cereal." But, the bigger the cereal bowl, the longer it takes to eat it, thus taking that much longer of a chunk out of my day.
So, I sit on the couch and eat cereal and catch up on my internetting. I think, "I should go take a shower before Mike gets home from work." He gets home around 2:00. Inevitably, I'm still sitting on the couch in my PJ's with the empty cereal bowl next to me. I feel embarrassed for a minute, and I know he's likely disappointed in me. But, oh well. It's time for lunch!
So, I get some food and try to talk to him about how his day at work was and the various things I've read online. Get gets annoyed and asks why I talk so much. I tell him I'm lonely and it's easy for him because he gets to talk to people all day at work and he's the first human I've had contact with so far in the day. He says, "get a job" so maybe I'll have someone to talk to. I say I'm trying. He's been understanding about me not finding a legal job b/c he knows it's tough (well, I did go through a period of 2-3 weeks where I gave up on the search and he didn't like that). But, he wants me to get a steady part-time job to help with the cash flow. Our monthly expenses absolutely outweigh what he's bringing in. I actually have been substitute teaching, but that takes motivation to get up at 5:00am and check the sub jobs for the day and pick one. At first, I said I'd work every day doing subbing, blah blah blah. Well, I find every excuse not to sub. For one thing, I feel like I'm "cheating" on trying to find a lawyer job if I sub. For two, I've volunteered to take over the housework since I'm the one who's home. So, it's always something that needs to be done, like the laundry or cleaning or whatever. And also, I originally said I would work in every school district at every grade level. Well, I chicken out on the jobs in the Lansing Public Schools. And the lowest kids I can bring myself to sub for has thus far been 6th graders. I'm not a huge fan of kids in the first place, so subbing for elementary kids freaks me out (yes, my friends think it's ironic as hell that I'm subbing seeing as how I don't like kids that much). And, I refuse to work for special ed classrooms (even Mike agrees with me on that one). So, it's a recipe for disaster. If I had a regularly-scheduled job, I'd obviously go in and work. But, here I sit every day, knowing our financial situation is about to get real problematic, holding onto hope that something will work out for me as far as a lawyer job. *Sigh.*
OK, so I've had lunch. I do a few things around the house, purposefuly walking back and forth in front of Mike to make it look like there's so much housework to do that I actually keep myself busy. I don't think he buys it.
Now, it's time to shower. This takes up like 15 minutes and is a highlight of the day. You can forget about drying my hair. That's too much work, and since I've been doing so much sitting around, I don't have that much energy to dry my hair every day. I've been growing my hair out and it's long enough to put 70% of it up in a ponytail, so I do that and always have wet hair at bedtime when I take it out.
OK, it's dinner time. What shall I make? Mike's the one who is supposed to do the cooking (it's one of the jobs I took over from him since "I'm home"). He naps while I cook it. I try to wake him up for dinner, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't (causing hurt feelings on my part since I'm already self-conscious of my cooking abilities).
He gets dressed and goes to the gym around 8:30. I think about going to the gym. But, all that thinking has me exhausted, and plus X or Y TV show is on so I'd better watch it so I don't get behind in my TV viewing schedule. Plus, I can just get up and go to the gym the next morning. So, I stay up late because I'm on my laptop and oh, it's so warm on my legs that it makes me not want to get up and go to bed because then I'll have to take the warm laptop off my legs. Maybe I should check my email for the 40th time that day. Time for bed. "Maybe I should have gone to the gym. Tomorrow is going to be the day I get up and go." And so the cycle begins again...
Stephanie_________________________________________________________________________
I loved your details about how you spend your day.
Here's mine: Wake up around 10:00 or 11:00, and wish that I had gotten up early and went to the gym. Oh, well. "Maybe I'll go tonight." I pour some cereal. Our bowls are big so it's probably about double what a true serving size should be. I think, "I should eat less cereal." But, the bigger the cereal bowl, the longer it takes to eat it, thus taking that much longer of a chunk out of my day.
So, I sit on the couch and eat cereal and catch up on my internetting. I think, "I should go take a shower before Mike gets home from work." He gets home around 2:00. Inevitably, I'm still sitting on the couch in my PJ's with the empty cereal bowl next to me. I feel embarrassed for a minute, and I know he's likely disappointed in me. But, oh well. It's time for lunch!
So, I get some food and try to talk to him about how his day at work was and the various things I've read online. Get gets annoyed and asks why I talk so much. I tell him I'm lonely and it's easy for him because he gets to talk to people all day at work and he's the first human I've had contact with so far in the day. He says, "get a job" so maybe I'll have someone to talk to. I say I'm trying. He's been understanding about me not finding a legal job b/c he knows it's tough (well, I did go through a period of 2-3 weeks where I gave up on the search and he didn't like that). But, he wants me to get a steady part-time job to help with the cash flow. Our monthly expenses absolutely outweigh what he's bringing in. I actually have been substitute teaching, but that takes motivation to get up at 5:00am and check the sub jobs for the day and pick one. At first, I said I'd work every day doing subbing, blah blah blah. Well, I find every excuse not to sub. For one thing, I feel like I'm "cheating" on trying to find a lawyer job if I sub. For two, I've volunteered to take over the housework since I'm the one who's home. So, it's always something that needs to be done, like the laundry or cleaning or whatever. And also, I originally said I would work in every school district at every grade level. Well, I chicken out on the jobs in the Lansing Public Schools. And the lowest kids I can bring myself to sub for has thus far been 6th graders. I'm not a huge fan of kids in the first place, so subbing for elementary kids freaks me out (yes, my friends think it's ironic as hell that I'm subbing seeing as how I don't like kids that much). And, I refuse to work for special ed classrooms (even Mike agrees with me on that one). So, it's a recipe for disaster. If I had a regularly-scheduled job, I'd obviously go in and work. But, here I sit every day, knowing our financial situation is about to get real problematic, holding onto hope that something will work out for me as far as a lawyer job. *Sigh.*
OK, so I've had lunch. I do a few things around the house, purposefuly walking back and forth in front of Mike to make it look like there's so much housework to do that I actually keep myself busy. I don't think he buys it.
Now, it's time to shower. This takes up like 15 minutes and is a highlight of the day. You can forget about drying my hair. That's too much work, and since I've been doing so much sitting around, I don't have that much energy to dry my hair every day. I've been growing my hair out and it's long enough to put 70% of it up in a ponytail, so I do that and always have wet hair at bedtime when I take it out.
OK, it's dinner time. What shall I make? Mike's the one who is supposed to do the cooking (it's one of the jobs I took over from him since "I'm home"). He naps while I cook it. I try to wake him up for dinner, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't (causing hurt feelings on my part since I'm already self-conscious of my cooking abilities).
He gets dressed and goes to the gym around 8:30. I think about going to the gym. But, all that thinking has me exhausted, and plus X or Y TV show is on so I'd better watch it so I don't get behind in my TV viewing schedule. Plus, I can just get up and go to the gym the next morning. So, I stay up late because I'm on my laptop and oh, it's so warm on my legs that it makes me not want to get up and go to bed because then I'll have to take the warm laptop off my legs. Maybe I should check my email for the 40th time that day. Time for bed. "Maybe I should have gone to the gym. Tomorrow is going to be the day I get up and go." And so the cycle begins again...