Our Prices Are Not That High
A customer came in the other day and asked for our cheapest room. I told him that would be the single queen for $69.99. He balked at that so I offered him a ten percent discount, making it $62.99 plus tax. He asked "Isn't that kind of high?"
No. It fucking isn't. We're actually one of the cheaper places in town. I told him that the Hilton at $125 and the Marriott at $150 are high, but we aren't. This isn't 1980, and we aren't a fucking Motel 6. $60 for a hotel room is actually cheap. You can get a $40 room in the middle of downtown if you don't mind bugs in the bathtub and stains on the sheets. (Oh, and being across the street from the whorehouses and rowdy bars.)
The most annoying people are the ones who want Motel 6 prices, but Marriott amenities. They come in and whine because the rate is too high, and when I oblingingly lower it, they bitch because we don't have a pool and spa, a restaurant, or bellhops to carry their bags. Also, the passive-aggressive people piss me off. If you want a first-floor room so you don't have to climb the stairs, why don't you just ask me? Instead of remarking loudly to your friend as you walk away from the desk "Well, I GUESS I could use the exercise."
And nobody ever fucking listens to me. I directed a guest to his second-floor room, telling him specifically where the stairs are, and he walked in a while later with a luggage cart piled high with bags. Wondering aloud how he was planning on dragging everything up the steps, I offered to have someone assist him. He snapped at me "You SAID you had an elevator."
No. No, I didn't.
On an unrelated note, I went to Little Caesar's the other day and ordered some Italian cheese bread. The cashier flinched ever so slightly and told me "I'm sorry. We don't have any ready, so it'll be about a 5 minute wait while we bake it." I said, "No problem; it's better when it's fresh!" She sighed in relief and remarked "You'd be surprised at how many people yell at me for that." I wasn't surprised at all, but I felt bad for her. She's such a sweet young lady, and cheerful every time I come in. How can people be rude to her, especially over something so petty? Like a 5-minute wait for cheesy goodness will emotionally traumatize them?
I seriously can't even fathom treating people the way customers have treated me. I really hate humanity sometimes, and working with the public for so long has filled me with cynicism and bitterness. I wish it was legal to shoot the customers that irritate me. Talk down to me? BAM! Throw your credit card across the counter? POW! I'd be doing their friends and family a favor, anyway, if they're that unpleasant to everyone else in their lives.
But alas, I'll have to keep biting my tongue and suppressing my inner rage. Pretty soon my face will be prematurely wrinkled from years of insincere smiles.