The ill-fated futon
Six months ago I began a journey that was doomed to fail. Alas, if I'd only known.
It all started at the local Goodwill store. I spotted a disassembled futon frame -- the kind with a black metal frame and wooden arms. It seemed to have all of the parts, including screws, nuts, and bolts. The arms had some scuffs and dents, but nothing atrocious. At $20 the price was right, so I bought me a futon. A week or two later I found an affordable and high-quality futon mattress. All I needed to do was figure out how to put it together.
For various reasons it took me a few weeks to getting around to laying out all of the pieces. Once I did I realized that something was wrong. B took a look at it, too. Our conclusion: no hinges. Nuts. Also, two of the thin metal "ribs" on the seat part of the metal frame had broken from their weld. B said that he could weld them back, no problem.
After some 'net sleuthing I learned that futon hinges cost 75% of a new metal futon frame. Futons are cheap, so people just buy a new one if the hinges break. After finding the best price I could I ordered a pair of new hinges. I figured that although I'd now spent about 40% of the futon frame's price when new, at least I was keeping it out of the landfill.
Winter passed with all of the futon bits and pieces stashed in an out-of-the-way place. For the most part I was waiting for it to get warmer so that B could weld the broken metal ribs. The garage where he keeps his tools doesn't have heat.
Wasabi decided to get things back on schedule by peeing on the brand new futon mattress on Saturday. Thank you, cat.* I unwrapped the futon and laid it out half on my sofa so that I could douse the pee spots with vinegar solution. It's worked partially. If you stick your nose right up to one of the spots you can still smell urine. Yay.
After the cat pee fiasco I announced to B that I was putting the damned futon together this weekend. A key motivating factor was to be able to sit on my couch again.
Since the weather was gorgeous B took the busted part of the frame to his garage to weld it. He brought it back still broken; the weld wouldn't take. But B being B, he had a backup plan: epoxy. He epoxied the two ribs back in place.
Tonight I laid all of the futon pieces on the kitchen floor to begin assembling the fabled futon. One look at the hinges brought a realization: I had no idea which way they should be installed. The holes used to bolt the hinge to the metal frame were spaced exactly the same on both parts of the frame. B took a look, but he wasn't sure, either. So I took my best guess and attached the hinges to the frame, hand-tightening the nuts.
I was about to attach the pair of long metal crossbars to the wooden arms when B realized that something else was amiss. He didn't see how the hinged-together part of the futon attached to the rest of the frame. I'm not nearly as mechanically adept as he is, so I couldn't tell. I decided to put the rest together, hoping that a solution would come to light.
One did: buy the two missing pieces. Based on holes in the wooden arms and the bolts I had left over I'm missing two more metal bars. I think that the bottom of the hinges attach to the missing bars.
After I got done wailing and gnashing my teeth I finally gave up. This stupid futon has been way more trouble than it's worth. B offered to make the missing metal bars, but I don't think it's worth any more time, effort, and money. So I'm going to sell what I can and give away the rest. B's taking some of the metal frame for his garage. I can probably get close to what I paid for the hinges on craigslist. As for the mattress, I'll see if I can get rid of the pee smell before putting it on craigslist, too. *sigh*
* Wasabi's getting neutered tomorrow. That'll learn ya, cat.
It all started at the local Goodwill store. I spotted a disassembled futon frame -- the kind with a black metal frame and wooden arms. It seemed to have all of the parts, including screws, nuts, and bolts. The arms had some scuffs and dents, but nothing atrocious. At $20 the price was right, so I bought me a futon. A week or two later I found an affordable and high-quality futon mattress. All I needed to do was figure out how to put it together.
For various reasons it took me a few weeks to getting around to laying out all of the pieces. Once I did I realized that something was wrong. B took a look at it, too. Our conclusion: no hinges. Nuts. Also, two of the thin metal "ribs" on the seat part of the metal frame had broken from their weld. B said that he could weld them back, no problem.
After some 'net sleuthing I learned that futon hinges cost 75% of a new metal futon frame. Futons are cheap, so people just buy a new one if the hinges break. After finding the best price I could I ordered a pair of new hinges. I figured that although I'd now spent about 40% of the futon frame's price when new, at least I was keeping it out of the landfill.
Winter passed with all of the futon bits and pieces stashed in an out-of-the-way place. For the most part I was waiting for it to get warmer so that B could weld the broken metal ribs. The garage where he keeps his tools doesn't have heat.
Wasabi decided to get things back on schedule by peeing on the brand new futon mattress on Saturday. Thank you, cat.* I unwrapped the futon and laid it out half on my sofa so that I could douse the pee spots with vinegar solution. It's worked partially. If you stick your nose right up to one of the spots you can still smell urine. Yay.
After the cat pee fiasco I announced to B that I was putting the damned futon together this weekend. A key motivating factor was to be able to sit on my couch again.
Since the weather was gorgeous B took the busted part of the frame to his garage to weld it. He brought it back still broken; the weld wouldn't take. But B being B, he had a backup plan: epoxy. He epoxied the two ribs back in place.
Tonight I laid all of the futon pieces on the kitchen floor to begin assembling the fabled futon. One look at the hinges brought a realization: I had no idea which way they should be installed. The holes used to bolt the hinge to the metal frame were spaced exactly the same on both parts of the frame. B took a look, but he wasn't sure, either. So I took my best guess and attached the hinges to the frame, hand-tightening the nuts.
I was about to attach the pair of long metal crossbars to the wooden arms when B realized that something else was amiss. He didn't see how the hinged-together part of the futon attached to the rest of the frame. I'm not nearly as mechanically adept as he is, so I couldn't tell. I decided to put the rest together, hoping that a solution would come to light.
One did: buy the two missing pieces. Based on holes in the wooden arms and the bolts I had left over I'm missing two more metal bars. I think that the bottom of the hinges attach to the missing bars.
After I got done wailing and gnashing my teeth I finally gave up. This stupid futon has been way more trouble than it's worth. B offered to make the missing metal bars, but I don't think it's worth any more time, effort, and money. So I'm going to sell what I can and give away the rest. B's taking some of the metal frame for his garage. I can probably get close to what I paid for the hinges on craigslist. As for the mattress, I'll see if I can get rid of the pee smell before putting it on craigslist, too. *sigh*
* Wasabi's getting neutered tomorrow. That'll learn ya, cat.