(no subject)
So I'm sitting here on Friday night with nothing to do. No plans... No one is really around and I guess I should have gone to work but I kind of needed a day to think more about life. I know I am going to eventually loose my job. I have done nothing but call in ever since Cat and I left each other but I guess it is just hard to deal with at times. I've made a lot of mistakes since she has left but its really no ones concern anymore. My life is mine and I do whatever the fuck I want to do. This is not my town anymore. Even though she is gone I still don't feel I can go out. It's nothing personal against anyone but I feel like if I went to the dollar I would be going to private territory if you know what I mean. I want to move and develop something somewhere else. A new job... a new life, school, new friends ( not that I don't still love my old ones). I guess my reality check is now. I'm sober. I can't erase the past but can only learn from the mistakes I have made and move on. I'm sure one day someone will give me the chance to be something for them again and hopefully next time I won't screw up so badly. I am not doing myself any favors by staying here though.... But I am going to have to because this thing I am going through is going to cost me a pretty penny. Let's just hope that 2007 is a better year and I can move and start over somewhere else. I have no hate for Cat now. I'm over the bitterness and only wish her the best in where she goes in life. I'm glad she is able to get out of here for a while. I know when I did it made a world of difference. When I got back everything just became again though. Good news though..... I am re shaving my mohawk sometime soon hehe...wehaa