career change
i'm looking at what my next steps should be career wise. there are a lot of options out there... sometimes i wish marq would be willing to do the international thing with me. i dont know if that would be a wise choice though being how we are still recovering from our financial mess. it was hugely my fault for not giving a damn anymore and being so weak but i guess we live in learn. as far as career goes, i want to travel internationally and learn so much more! but i have to remind myself to find a balance between my family and work. we are back to being a one income family so a lot of the stress/ pressure of the house hold falls on mark. and well, im in charge of the bill portion of it. although its nice to think to have a supporting role, there is no guarantee for that. so the thing to do is suck it up and step up to the plate. if he doesn't like it ... though... im the provider so it is my rules. that does sound cruel and in a way its cause some problems already but it also has helped me start to set things in the right path. i will be fair though... i wont go crazy spending or what not and expect mark to hold back on things he enjoys. but truthfully im a bit more deciplined or however u spell it. so for that reason, im in charge of making sure things get paid and on the right track. so im not complaining anymore... but i am stepping up to the plate. about damn time i did ... and yes... it feels amazing