(no subject)
i want somewhere i belong.someone to belong to.i just want to have friends that are like me. not people i have to pretend around. i just want to feel freedom to let the real me out.maybe ive spent so long covering up i dont even know who i am. i want to let all those feelings slide away. i wish i had the confidance of those who are happy in their own skin. the kids with a 'like who i am or fuck off' type attitude.
I watched this one girl tonight and all i could see when i looked at her was one thought that kept running through my mind. I know she's an amazing person. she shines brighter than any star in the sky.she seems to know everyone and everyone is happy to be around her.she's just so full of life and doesnt have one minute to waste. i know from all ive seen and heard of her she lives every day like its her last.party hard,smoke,drink,sex,drugs,rock and roll...why not?you only live once. but all i could think when i watched her is that she's never going to live to see her 28th birthday.if even that far. live fast die young - an attitude ive grown to accept and sometimes even admire when it seems like the only way.afterall whats there in the future that makes it seem worth living for? i dont even see a future for myself.is it better to live while you're young so if you do make it to adulthood you can look back with no regrets? while watching this girl i think i may have felt jealousy because she has the guts to live her life like that. totally letting herself go and just concentrating on having fun and living the life she's always wanted. do i owe myself that? should i be making up for all the years i lost doing shit i didnt care about? i wish i could make sense of it all and have the opportunity to find out what i want.
I watched this one girl tonight and all i could see when i looked at her was one thought that kept running through my mind. I know she's an amazing person. she shines brighter than any star in the sky.she seems to know everyone and everyone is happy to be around her.she's just so full of life and doesnt have one minute to waste. i know from all ive seen and heard of her she lives every day like its her last.party hard,smoke,drink,sex,drugs,rock and roll...why not?you only live once. but all i could think when i watched her is that she's never going to live to see her 28th birthday.if even that far. live fast die young - an attitude ive grown to accept and sometimes even admire when it seems like the only way.afterall whats there in the future that makes it seem worth living for? i dont even see a future for myself.is it better to live while you're young so if you do make it to adulthood you can look back with no regrets? while watching this girl i think i may have felt jealousy because she has the guts to live her life like that. totally letting herself go and just concentrating on having fun and living the life she's always wanted. do i owe myself that? should i be making up for all the years i lost doing shit i didnt care about? i wish i could make sense of it all and have the opportunity to find out what i want.