(no subject)
Yikes, I am sure my last enrty sounded bad. I mean the whole 'he makes me happy' line. It might have sounded like he is the only one who makes me happy. But no, rest asure, he is not.
Let me explain. Myself breaking up with Brady really helped. I was not happy with him, and needed to get away. Then me cutting my hair, I miss my hair, and this will sound strange. I needed a change. Me breaking up with Brady was a good change, but I needed something physical, ya know? When Coralie was here she told Katie that Kori and I bring her down. Katie told me that I bring her down too. Those comments really hurt, ya know? People no longer wanted to be around me just because of the way I acted. Well, for 2-3ish weeks I was just angry about those comments. (by the way this all happened in february-june). And I purposely acted that way around certain people. But I realized, I was the one who needed to change. I needed to show that I was happy, I needed to show I was excited about something. So for the rest of the school year I worked on myseldf. Granted, I do have my unhappy, bringing other people down moments, but that's life. I can't be perfect. So, onwards with my story. I am happy with me and my life and everything else. I am truely 100% happy. But my problem was that since I hated school, hated being there, I was letting it bring ME down, which in return brought other people down. I was dwelling on things that should have been let go, I was dwelling on things that brought me down, I was comparing myself to others ALOT. Well anyways, I tried my best to change. And by the time, I presented my senior project (okay, really my senior project was making myself happy, not yoga), I was really starting to show my happiness and just be myself, and not take things so seriously. Well, I felt like I had changed, I don't know if other people saw it, but I definetly changed (inside or out).
And then here comes Nick. Of course a boy interested in you is going to make you happy. I couldn't have been more crazily happy about this. He is a good person...not to say the other people I dated weren't good. But he is good for me. Anyways, we were both happy. Many will say that it's because its the beginning of our relationship, the "honeymoon stage" to many. Haha, well that happiness ended quickly. Well...kind of. He took Kori and I back to Idaho to meet his family. It was a lot of fun, and I had a lot of fun. But, I don't know what happened I started to act like my old-self again. I just pulled back, and was acting like I wasn't having fun. Well, Nick met me when I was showing emotion, so...he didn't like this side of me. Anyways, I have major issues with Kori. I feel like she is a better person, overall, then me. Like she has more to offer a guy then I do. Anyways, so I was struggling with that. I felt like Nick liked Kori more than me. And I am sure he did. But that's okay, and completely understandable. I was bringing Nick down...Well he told me I was rubbing off on him, and he didn't like it. Okay, so I needed to change once again. I really started to dwell on the bad things about me, and the good of Kori. I can't do that. We are two different people, why should I be jealous of her, and not the 10,000 other girls in Nicks life? (ya know, that's completely weird that I'm not jealous either, because normally I am a super super jealous person...). Okay, so first I needed to realize that I am a good person, that I do have things to offer to another person. Then I needed to realize that I am good for Nick. What makes me better for Nick than Kori? That sounds awful, but I needed to realize those things. Then I needed to fully trust Kori and Nick. Which I do...100% trust into them. So...it took my awhile. I talked to my mom about it, because really, she's the only one who could really kind-of understand. And I talked to Kori. My family is the best, and I love them to death. I never really knew how much they understood me until this past week. Both my mom and Kori helped me so much. Man......then And I talked to Nick (by the way, it's no good talking to a Mad-Nick, hehehhe). The poor guy though. I feel really bad for acting the way I have for the past week or so. But, not everything is going to be perfect. I needed to see myself again.
Sheesh what a stupid story.
All I want to do right now is gush about Nick. Hehehe...So my last entry might have sounded like Nick is the only one that is making me happy right now. But I was happy awhile before I met Nick. Anyways, the "honeymoon stage" thing, I think was there, and then...I don't know. I'll have to see in a week or two. I'm back. I over analyze too much. Anyways, Nick's sister is getting married, and Kori likes one of his friends from Idaho, so I think we're going to go back there in August. And one of his sister-in-laws told me she hopes to see me again. I thought it was nice. I hope his family likes me...I enjoyed meeting them all (he has 7 brothers and sisters). He has the cutest nieces and nephews. Hahaha, when Nick and I first hung out together he was telling me about them, and telling me they were the cutest little kids in the world. And you know people, they always think they have the cutest, and I was just sitting there thinking, well they probably are cute, but not the cutest ya know? But...dude no, they ARE the CUTEST little people in the whole entire world!
Yuck, I need to take a shower.
Laura, we should do something together!
Katy, we should do something together!
Katie R. we should do something together!
"You enter my life like a new season and stand between me and the old sorrows." -Steve Sanfield
Kori and I still havent gotten our grades yet! What is this?!
Let me explain. Myself breaking up with Brady really helped. I was not happy with him, and needed to get away. Then me cutting my hair, I miss my hair, and this will sound strange. I needed a change. Me breaking up with Brady was a good change, but I needed something physical, ya know? When Coralie was here she told Katie that Kori and I bring her down. Katie told me that I bring her down too. Those comments really hurt, ya know? People no longer wanted to be around me just because of the way I acted. Well, for 2-3ish weeks I was just angry about those comments. (by the way this all happened in february-june). And I purposely acted that way around certain people. But I realized, I was the one who needed to change. I needed to show that I was happy, I needed to show I was excited about something. So for the rest of the school year I worked on myseldf. Granted, I do have my unhappy, bringing other people down moments, but that's life. I can't be perfect. So, onwards with my story. I am happy with me and my life and everything else. I am truely 100% happy. But my problem was that since I hated school, hated being there, I was letting it bring ME down, which in return brought other people down. I was dwelling on things that should have been let go, I was dwelling on things that brought me down, I was comparing myself to others ALOT. Well anyways, I tried my best to change. And by the time, I presented my senior project (okay, really my senior project was making myself happy, not yoga), I was really starting to show my happiness and just be myself, and not take things so seriously. Well, I felt like I had changed, I don't know if other people saw it, but I definetly changed (inside or out).
And then here comes Nick. Of course a boy interested in you is going to make you happy. I couldn't have been more crazily happy about this. He is a good person...not to say the other people I dated weren't good. But he is good for me. Anyways, we were both happy. Many will say that it's because its the beginning of our relationship, the "honeymoon stage" to many. Haha, well that happiness ended quickly. Well...kind of. He took Kori and I back to Idaho to meet his family. It was a lot of fun, and I had a lot of fun. But, I don't know what happened I started to act like my old-self again. I just pulled back, and was acting like I wasn't having fun. Well, Nick met me when I was showing emotion, so...he didn't like this side of me. Anyways, I have major issues with Kori. I feel like she is a better person, overall, then me. Like she has more to offer a guy then I do. Anyways, so I was struggling with that. I felt like Nick liked Kori more than me. And I am sure he did. But that's okay, and completely understandable. I was bringing Nick down...Well he told me I was rubbing off on him, and he didn't like it. Okay, so I needed to change once again. I really started to dwell on the bad things about me, and the good of Kori. I can't do that. We are two different people, why should I be jealous of her, and not the 10,000 other girls in Nicks life? (ya know, that's completely weird that I'm not jealous either, because normally I am a super super jealous person...). Okay, so first I needed to realize that I am a good person, that I do have things to offer to another person. Then I needed to realize that I am good for Nick. What makes me better for Nick than Kori? That sounds awful, but I needed to realize those things. Then I needed to fully trust Kori and Nick. Which I do...100% trust into them. So...it took my awhile. I talked to my mom about it, because really, she's the only one who could really kind-of understand. And I talked to Kori. My family is the best, and I love them to death. I never really knew how much they understood me until this past week. Both my mom and Kori helped me so much. Man......then And I talked to Nick (by the way, it's no good talking to a Mad-Nick, hehehhe). The poor guy though. I feel really bad for acting the way I have for the past week or so. But, not everything is going to be perfect. I needed to see myself again.
Sheesh what a stupid story.
All I want to do right now is gush about Nick. Hehehe...So my last entry might have sounded like Nick is the only one that is making me happy right now. But I was happy awhile before I met Nick. Anyways, the "honeymoon stage" thing, I think was there, and then...I don't know. I'll have to see in a week or two. I'm back. I over analyze too much. Anyways, Nick's sister is getting married, and Kori likes one of his friends from Idaho, so I think we're going to go back there in August. And one of his sister-in-laws told me she hopes to see me again. I thought it was nice. I hope his family likes me...I enjoyed meeting them all (he has 7 brothers and sisters). He has the cutest nieces and nephews. Hahaha, when Nick and I first hung out together he was telling me about them, and telling me they were the cutest little kids in the world. And you know people, they always think they have the cutest, and I was just sitting there thinking, well they probably are cute, but not the cutest ya know? But...dude no, they ARE the CUTEST little people in the whole entire world!
Yuck, I need to take a shower.
Laura, we should do something together!
Katy, we should do something together!
Katie R. we should do something together!
"You enter my life like a new season and stand between me and the old sorrows." -Steve Sanfield
Kori and I still havent gotten our grades yet! What is this?!