i know this might come as a surprise...
...i'm pretty convinced my father might not be doing as well as he wants us to believe he is. the tumor in his neck is now grapefruit sized. he's in constant pain; they have him on oxycodone for the pain, but it's not helping at all. they haven't done anything for the cancer because they've been concentrating on his acute kidney failure. he started dialysis a couple of weeks ago. they'll eventually place a shunt in his arm. right now, he's got a catheter in his neck so he's not allowed to shower.
i went to see my dad on saturday morning and he couldn't make it through a two hour visit. that man had tears in his eyes when he finally (after an hour) said he was in too much pain and to let the COs know he was sick and needed to go back to his cell. you need to know that in all of my days, i've never seen that man cry. we're talking about a man that has shrapnel in his legs from vietnam, ya know? and i've never seen him cry until that moment.
i think he knows what's up. i'll never be ready for this. i thought he thought he was but the pain...
he asked me to tell his wife not to come the following saturday because he cannot sit through a two hour visit right now. of course, that means she thinks it's not fair because i got to see him and she doesn't. i had to reiterate "he can't sit through a two hour visit right now!" at least five times. he also explained that he hasn't been able to call because the hospital ward is very similar to being in the hole--they don't let them have phone access and he's been without his property for five days now. he had to have a blood transfusion the other day, which is why he's in the hospital ward. he asked me to tell her to call raleigh and try to explain the situation to them to see if there's anything they can do. i'm not next of kin, so there's not a lot i can do. you know what she tells me? she can't call raleigh because she's in training for her new job and she'll email them. that's so not what she was asked to do.
tl;dr: my dad might be dying, and i'm not ready. he's beaten everything else so...
i went to see my dad on saturday morning and he couldn't make it through a two hour visit. that man had tears in his eyes when he finally (after an hour) said he was in too much pain and to let the COs know he was sick and needed to go back to his cell. you need to know that in all of my days, i've never seen that man cry. we're talking about a man that has shrapnel in his legs from vietnam, ya know? and i've never seen him cry until that moment.
i think he knows what's up. i'll never be ready for this. i thought he thought he was but the pain...
he asked me to tell his wife not to come the following saturday because he cannot sit through a two hour visit right now. of course, that means she thinks it's not fair because i got to see him and she doesn't. i had to reiterate "he can't sit through a two hour visit right now!" at least five times. he also explained that he hasn't been able to call because the hospital ward is very similar to being in the hole--they don't let them have phone access and he's been without his property for five days now. he had to have a blood transfusion the other day, which is why he's in the hospital ward. he asked me to tell her to call raleigh and try to explain the situation to them to see if there's anything they can do. i'm not next of kin, so there's not a lot i can do. you know what she tells me? she can't call raleigh because she's in training for her new job and she'll email them. that's so not what she was asked to do.
tl;dr: my dad might be dying, and i'm not ready. he's beaten everything else so...