There was a girl named Jess who was minding her business getting a frapachino. She decided that since it was such a nice day out she would walk in stead of drive there. So when he was done drinking she headed for the sidewalk. About half way home she was stopped by a huge fire breathing dragon. He wouldnt let her past him unless she fought him to the death. So Jess, being the strong girl she is punched the dragon right in the nose. The dragon got mad and let out a huge roar of fire. Jess dodged the fire and picked up a stick that was laying on the ground. She threw it at thr dragon and it landed right in his heart....the dragon fell down. But instead of dying, it magically turned into a prince. He was tall and handsome with blonde hair and blue eyes, strong muscles and a smile that could melt Antartica. He grabbed her in his arms and kissed her softly. The he pulled her up onto his random steed and carried her away to his castle where they had hot steamy passionate sex every single night. And she never once had to give him head but he
( ... )
There was a girl named Jess who was working at the Pita Pit in Henrietta. All of a sudden another girl came in to buy a veggie pita. This veggie pita girl was really nice, and gave Jess a good tip. Jess and Veggie Pita Girl started talking and Jess realized that Veggie Pita Girl was none other than her good friend, also named Jess, in disguise. They lived happily ever after (albeit 70 miles apart).
The moral of the story is that fake moustaches don't work :)
There lived a princess, a beautiful one with lots of paranoias and un-founded fears, but she was fun and pleasant and beautiful just the same. Anywho! This princess wore lots of fun dresses and stuff, because princess can do that, with pearls and diamonds and other such things that sparkled! (This princess was named Jessica by the way, though of course I'm sure you knew that). Moving on... Princess Jessica had lots of hopes and dreams and one was to one day become... not sick ever again. You see, she was constantly getting strep throat, or bronchitis... or both, just for shits and giggles, and these sicknesses were bogging her down and they SUCKED
( ... )
...there were two friends, Rachel and Jess. They had had a long and unusual friendship, filled with asshole boys (one of which they had both been dumb enough to fall for), lingerie, and Princess Bride references. They were both smart and pretty and had many friends, yet life still sucked alot of the time. So the girls said enough of this shiznit, hopped on their magical hippegasuses (horses that can both fly and swim), and headed for a fabulous deserted island. They didn't tell anyone where they were going, so they enjoyed a long vacation from everything. The freedom from stress and the healthful atmosphere of the island cured their headaches and they were never sick again. After awhile their very best friends, who had been working tirelessly to find the girls, joined them on the island. Thus Jess and Rachel were surrounded by only people who really cared about them, not liars or stupid doctors or annoying people. And they all lived happily ever after.
Comments 9
Reply
Reply
Especially the unrequited head.
Gotta love it.
Reply
The moral of the story is that fake moustaches don't work :)
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment