(no subject)
So it seems to me still that Sara doesn't read this. Good/bad/indifferent, whatever. It's okay cause I need to put my thoughts somewhere. For me, for others, whatever.
So what do you do when you've fucked up royally. And you know, and you feel, in your heart of hearts and soul of souls that you could change all of it around in a split second and fix it. Now I don't necessarily mean change, really, actually in fact I mean letting one's true self finally show. Letting one's true self dig through all the piles and piles of garbage and crap of pain and hurt and anger of 18 years... Like he's always been right at the surface of the pile but just couldn't push through, and then finally with one last and final burst of strength he PUSHES through to find him finally free at the surface, free from everything, where he can start gainging strength and being this person's everything... FINALLY FREE... pushes up, extends his body towards the sky......
... and then looks around ...
... alone, complete and utterly alone.
But he hears something, in the foggy distance - it's a voice, the beautiful voice of a beautiful woman. And now he has this task, to gain strength and find his way through the fog... to finally clasp on to this woman's body and listen to her voice for the rest of his life. To see this beautiful woman with this wonderful voice...
But he's tripped, he's fallen, he's become disoriented. And it almost seems... as if this woman is moving. Making it hard for him to get to her. Like she's running in circles or running away from him. But he's so determined to find her and to get to her and to be with her for the rest of his life. But she's making it difficult, more so than it has to be. And he's battered and bruised, and just escaped the torture of the pit... and he's weak... but he's soo determined and he KNOWS if she would just stay still and let him come to her... he would find her... and they would both be happy for the rest of their lives...
*sigh*
That's kinda how I feel right now
I've fallen in this pit before, and got stuck in there, but now I"m free... only to find that I've tripped, fallen, and become disoriented... And I need her to stand still and let me come, and know and feel how much I'm in love with her and how much I'm willing to do anything... and will do anything... How different I am, how changed I am...
I love her... more than she actually knows
*sigh*
is it too late??
am i too fucked up??
So what do you do when you've fucked up royally. And you know, and you feel, in your heart of hearts and soul of souls that you could change all of it around in a split second and fix it. Now I don't necessarily mean change, really, actually in fact I mean letting one's true self finally show. Letting one's true self dig through all the piles and piles of garbage and crap of pain and hurt and anger of 18 years... Like he's always been right at the surface of the pile but just couldn't push through, and then finally with one last and final burst of strength he PUSHES through to find him finally free at the surface, free from everything, where he can start gainging strength and being this person's everything... FINALLY FREE... pushes up, extends his body towards the sky......
... and then looks around ...
... alone, complete and utterly alone.
But he hears something, in the foggy distance - it's a voice, the beautiful voice of a beautiful woman. And now he has this task, to gain strength and find his way through the fog... to finally clasp on to this woman's body and listen to her voice for the rest of his life. To see this beautiful woman with this wonderful voice...
But he's tripped, he's fallen, he's become disoriented. And it almost seems... as if this woman is moving. Making it hard for him to get to her. Like she's running in circles or running away from him. But he's so determined to find her and to get to her and to be with her for the rest of his life. But she's making it difficult, more so than it has to be. And he's battered and bruised, and just escaped the torture of the pit... and he's weak... but he's soo determined and he KNOWS if she would just stay still and let him come to her... he would find her... and they would both be happy for the rest of their lives...
*sigh*
That's kinda how I feel right now
I've fallen in this pit before, and got stuck in there, but now I"m free... only to find that I've tripped, fallen, and become disoriented... And I need her to stand still and let me come, and know and feel how much I'm in love with her and how much I'm willing to do anything... and will do anything... How different I am, how changed I am...
I love her... more than she actually knows
*sigh*
is it too late??
am i too fucked up??