Relatively Uneventful Day
Today was not quite as exciting as I anticipated it being.
I woke up quite late, around noon. This is because I took some great cold medicine, a full dose, last night and it knocked me out good. Also, I didn't need to get up, and Aunt Karen ended up not making boat waffles, so I had no drive to get up.
So basically, I laid around for a while, got up and showered and ate, then began my day. Since Mary and Karen had their shop-til-ya-drop day today, and since James and George were at the store working, I was at their house all alone for the major part of the day. So I spent my time wisely and cleaned their house, read the dictionary, and built them a new bookcase.
Just kidding.
I actually spent almost all day sitting on the couch talking to Sarah online and playing with my new baby (the bass). I felt sorta bad because my cold was getting worse, that is until my mom stopped by with Sudafed, and then that cleared me up pretty good.
But that's not the only reason I was feeling down a little. Sarah was a little moody today, and she usually isn't. Now, she's a female, and they have their moments, and it's certainly understandable. God made females to be able to carry and support new life, and so there are certain chemical and biological differences which force them to act out of character every once and a while. She admited this to me, and so I was understanding and patient, even more so than usual.
The reason I was sad was because she started mentioning things like, "Why are we doing this?" and "Maybe this isn't working out."
I suppose this is as good a time as any to describe Sarah to you.
Sarah is a blessing from God. An angel trapped here on earth and forced to live pretending to be human. She is the most talented and interesting girl I have ever come across, and I care about her a great deal. We met on the internet at a Christian chat site, and we found out that we live near eachother and began talking. After about a week of talking on instant messanger, we exchanged phone numbers and talked for several hours a day for two weeks. During these two weeks, I attended the evening Sunday and Wednesday services at her church, since my church only has Sunday morning sermon.
I was (and still am) slightly embarrassed about how we met, because I am a traditional guy with odd feelings about couples who meet on the internet. So I like to say we met at her church. This is not a lie, because we did not physically meet until I visited her church for the first time, but she tells me this is deceitful and that I shouldn't say that. I only recently told my mom about how we came to know each other, and I was severely embarrassed while confessing this information. I don't know why, because it really isn't that big a deal.
So, anyways, we started dating three weeks after we started chatting. Our first date was on December 17th, at a Christmas banquet her church was hosting. It was a formal occasion, so we got all fancied up and looked exceptionally good. For the first time in my dating history, I kissed a girl on our first date. And that's not all, because we did it twice, and I initiated it both times.
This is a big deal for me because normally I am very shy around girls I like, and they are usually the ones who kiss me, or tell me to kiss them (ever how bold that sounds), and after the initial barrier is broken, I am more eager and willing to take the initiative.
So we dated for about a week, going out to dinner after church and spending time together at her house (with her dad there), always avoiding the appearance of evil and keeping pure intentions. And so after a week of that, we decided that we were both ready to date each other exclusively. This was a huge hurdle for me mainly because I have trouble with commitment (like many guys). I think it's because I feel like I'm missing out on something if I decide to commit. But Sarah is something else. I have not ever felt this way about a girl before. In the past, the relationships I've been in were a result of a girl liking me and approaching me, or I find out a girl has a crush on me and I approach her then. Never has it been the case that a girl I like says "yes" to me, unless she is the one who liked me first.
In other words, I've never been really nervous around a girl with whom I was in a relationship with. It was never a thought that she'd break up with me, because I had control over the relationship. This was very destructive and unhealthy, and ultimately led to the end of each relationship.
However, with Sarah, I feel nervous. I feel like she is someone who is focused on the right things, and is not consumed with me to the point that she worships the ground I walk on. She is certainly tolerant of me and my joking manner, but never overly so. She won't let me use or abuse her in any way, and I love that because I know that's what I need in a girl. She makes me want to respect her and give her the treatment she deserves as a lady, a sister in Christ, and a girlfriend. She affects me in so many ways, and I actually feel giddy around her.
Some of the things that attract me to her are her multiple talents, her intelligence, her wisdom, her walk with Christ, her naturally calming manner, and her willingness to accept and forgive. Never have I met a girl who has amazing skill in writing, drawing, singing, AND cooking. She baked me cookies and drew me a picture for my birthday, and she has a trained voice. She also writes poetry and fiction (which is a hobby we share, for those of you who know me well). She is a very smart girl. She has wisdom beyond her years. She has forgiven me for my past actions, and continues to accept me for who I am and what I do, despite my imperfections. But most of all, she is the strongest Christian I have ever dated. Oddly enough, she has been saved longer than I have. She is a few months older than I am, and got saved when she was 5. I got saved when I was 6. We are so close to the same spiritual level that we can understand each other, and neither of us feel like we are preaching all the time, or being preached to all the time. We support each other spiritually, and agree on all of the major issues that come with relationships and spirituality.
She is something amazing, and I consider her to be a gift from God and an answered prayer.
I have never felt such a desire to tell a girl "I love you." That phrase, by the way, is one that I have reserved. I have never said it to a girl in that way, and I will not use that word until the day I propose. I want it to be special, and I do not want to cause confusion.
But this girl... this special angel. She is a totally different story than any girl I have ever dated or even met. I am so happy with her, and I cherish her so much.
So the reason I was sorta saddened and a little frightened was because she sounded like she was doubting our relationship (ever how young it is). I know that her words were spoken in a time which she is flooded by emotion of all kinds, and she is also sick, recovering from flu-like symptoms. But all things said in anger have some truth to them, and it kinda worried me. But I am praying about it, and leaving it to God, so that His will can be done. Also, we agreed to wait to talk about it until about a week from now where we can be in person and free from sickness and emotional duress.
Whew!
That's a lot to take in. So since I'm really tired (it's 5:30 am right now), I am gonna just wrap up the rest of the day and go to bed. After everyone got home (around 8:30 ish), we watched National Treasure (great movie, 4 stars). Then George and I played a 2 and a half hour game of chess, which he won. At the end I was just getting really tired of the game and ready to go to bed, so I started getting wreckless. Oh, well, my time will come. My record is 1-2 and I intend to pull ahead tommorrow. And the Music City Bowl is tommorrow, not today, and I will hopefully be attending that.
Goodnight, and pray for me.
I woke up quite late, around noon. This is because I took some great cold medicine, a full dose, last night and it knocked me out good. Also, I didn't need to get up, and Aunt Karen ended up not making boat waffles, so I had no drive to get up.
So basically, I laid around for a while, got up and showered and ate, then began my day. Since Mary and Karen had their shop-til-ya-drop day today, and since James and George were at the store working, I was at their house all alone for the major part of the day. So I spent my time wisely and cleaned their house, read the dictionary, and built them a new bookcase.
Just kidding.
I actually spent almost all day sitting on the couch talking to Sarah online and playing with my new baby (the bass). I felt sorta bad because my cold was getting worse, that is until my mom stopped by with Sudafed, and then that cleared me up pretty good.
But that's not the only reason I was feeling down a little. Sarah was a little moody today, and she usually isn't. Now, she's a female, and they have their moments, and it's certainly understandable. God made females to be able to carry and support new life, and so there are certain chemical and biological differences which force them to act out of character every once and a while. She admited this to me, and so I was understanding and patient, even more so than usual.
The reason I was sad was because she started mentioning things like, "Why are we doing this?" and "Maybe this isn't working out."
I suppose this is as good a time as any to describe Sarah to you.
Sarah is a blessing from God. An angel trapped here on earth and forced to live pretending to be human. She is the most talented and interesting girl I have ever come across, and I care about her a great deal. We met on the internet at a Christian chat site, and we found out that we live near eachother and began talking. After about a week of talking on instant messanger, we exchanged phone numbers and talked for several hours a day for two weeks. During these two weeks, I attended the evening Sunday and Wednesday services at her church, since my church only has Sunday morning sermon.
I was (and still am) slightly embarrassed about how we met, because I am a traditional guy with odd feelings about couples who meet on the internet. So I like to say we met at her church. This is not a lie, because we did not physically meet until I visited her church for the first time, but she tells me this is deceitful and that I shouldn't say that. I only recently told my mom about how we came to know each other, and I was severely embarrassed while confessing this information. I don't know why, because it really isn't that big a deal.
So, anyways, we started dating three weeks after we started chatting. Our first date was on December 17th, at a Christmas banquet her church was hosting. It was a formal occasion, so we got all fancied up and looked exceptionally good. For the first time in my dating history, I kissed a girl on our first date. And that's not all, because we did it twice, and I initiated it both times.
This is a big deal for me because normally I am very shy around girls I like, and they are usually the ones who kiss me, or tell me to kiss them (ever how bold that sounds), and after the initial barrier is broken, I am more eager and willing to take the initiative.
So we dated for about a week, going out to dinner after church and spending time together at her house (with her dad there), always avoiding the appearance of evil and keeping pure intentions. And so after a week of that, we decided that we were both ready to date each other exclusively. This was a huge hurdle for me mainly because I have trouble with commitment (like many guys). I think it's because I feel like I'm missing out on something if I decide to commit. But Sarah is something else. I have not ever felt this way about a girl before. In the past, the relationships I've been in were a result of a girl liking me and approaching me, or I find out a girl has a crush on me and I approach her then. Never has it been the case that a girl I like says "yes" to me, unless she is the one who liked me first.
In other words, I've never been really nervous around a girl with whom I was in a relationship with. It was never a thought that she'd break up with me, because I had control over the relationship. This was very destructive and unhealthy, and ultimately led to the end of each relationship.
However, with Sarah, I feel nervous. I feel like she is someone who is focused on the right things, and is not consumed with me to the point that she worships the ground I walk on. She is certainly tolerant of me and my joking manner, but never overly so. She won't let me use or abuse her in any way, and I love that because I know that's what I need in a girl. She makes me want to respect her and give her the treatment she deserves as a lady, a sister in Christ, and a girlfriend. She affects me in so many ways, and I actually feel giddy around her.
Some of the things that attract me to her are her multiple talents, her intelligence, her wisdom, her walk with Christ, her naturally calming manner, and her willingness to accept and forgive. Never have I met a girl who has amazing skill in writing, drawing, singing, AND cooking. She baked me cookies and drew me a picture for my birthday, and she has a trained voice. She also writes poetry and fiction (which is a hobby we share, for those of you who know me well). She is a very smart girl. She has wisdom beyond her years. She has forgiven me for my past actions, and continues to accept me for who I am and what I do, despite my imperfections. But most of all, she is the strongest Christian I have ever dated. Oddly enough, she has been saved longer than I have. She is a few months older than I am, and got saved when she was 5. I got saved when I was 6. We are so close to the same spiritual level that we can understand each other, and neither of us feel like we are preaching all the time, or being preached to all the time. We support each other spiritually, and agree on all of the major issues that come with relationships and spirituality.
She is something amazing, and I consider her to be a gift from God and an answered prayer.
I have never felt such a desire to tell a girl "I love you." That phrase, by the way, is one that I have reserved. I have never said it to a girl in that way, and I will not use that word until the day I propose. I want it to be special, and I do not want to cause confusion.
But this girl... this special angel. She is a totally different story than any girl I have ever dated or even met. I am so happy with her, and I cherish her so much.
So the reason I was sorta saddened and a little frightened was because she sounded like she was doubting our relationship (ever how young it is). I know that her words were spoken in a time which she is flooded by emotion of all kinds, and she is also sick, recovering from flu-like symptoms. But all things said in anger have some truth to them, and it kinda worried me. But I am praying about it, and leaving it to God, so that His will can be done. Also, we agreed to wait to talk about it until about a week from now where we can be in person and free from sickness and emotional duress.
Whew!
That's a lot to take in. So since I'm really tired (it's 5:30 am right now), I am gonna just wrap up the rest of the day and go to bed. After everyone got home (around 8:30 ish), we watched National Treasure (great movie, 4 stars). Then George and I played a 2 and a half hour game of chess, which he won. At the end I was just getting really tired of the game and ready to go to bed, so I started getting wreckless. Oh, well, my time will come. My record is 1-2 and I intend to pull ahead tommorrow. And the Music City Bowl is tommorrow, not today, and I will hopefully be attending that.
Goodnight, and pray for me.