Hook at Man Clan?!?!
Today is the first day that I will not be writing a letter to Sarah, my ex-girlfriend. I sent her an email last night and told her that I was "done playing her games." I assumed by the way that she didn't respond to several emails I sent her that she was ignoring me, and didn't want me in her life anymore. I came to the conclusion that I needed to begin the healing process, and put the past behind me. By doing this I am more able to work for the Lord today, being uninhibited by guilt, shame, and lonliness.
I woke up at 5:00 p.m. since I stayed up last night writing my last letter to Sarah, and it was nine pages long. I showered and got dressed, then had to rush to get to Man Clan. Half way down the road I realized that I forgot deodorant, and had to make an emergency pit stop at the house to apply some before I went on to Bojangle's. That made me about twenty minutes late, but it was okay because we usually eat for an hour before the Bible study begins. I about flipped out when I saw one of my old Young Life leaders sitting at the table. His nickname is Hook, and he is a beast of a man if there ever was one. That guy is one part man, one part bear, and one part steel. The beautiful thing is, now he is closer to God than ever, and I noticed a huge change from when I last saw him about two years ago. He also got himself engaged to a nice girl (from what I hear), and I know he will make a great husband and father.
I got my usual meal, Cajun chicken sandwich combo, and joined the men. We talked about the qualities of a Godly man today, and it was intense. We went through about 30 different scripture passages, all proclaiming what men are to be in Christ. Needless to say, I needed to hear this stuff badly. I am so happy that I came to the decision to rest in the Lord yesterday, because I could listen to the Bible study without being hindered by my own self-pity and regret. I could take everything and apply it to my life, understanding that God was speaking to me.
After two and a half hours of pure man-ness, we finally ended the study and went our seperate ways. It started looking gloomy outside, and there were distant flashes of lightning. I went home because I needed to change cars with Dad again. My car keeps having trouble starting, and Dad needs to check it out, so I am using Mom's car for the time being. I also hung around and told Mom about my decision to put Sarah behind me, and allow Jesus to move me forward. After that, I went to Mike's house so that I could share the same thing with him, and also because he had yet to tell me about his wonderful date with Angela on Tuesday.
We sat on his porch and watched the storm pass as we talked. I gave him the basic outline about the conclusions I came to about Sarah, and he was happy that I finally decided to act on the advice he had been giving me. We also talked about his current female interest, Angela, and a few other things. It was interesting because it seemed like every time one of us said something good, lightning struck and thunder rolled nearby. I don't place much weight on such things, but it was fun to talk about. It started raining really hard, and we decided to get up and head inside to stay dry. Just as we were opening the door, a bolt of lightning struck right across the street from his house, probably a tree or mailbox. It hit about twenty feet away, and scared the bodily fluids out of both of us. Mike almost ran me over trying to get inside. I mean, this thing was so close you could feel it on your arm hairs. It was exciting.
We finished our conversation inside, and he told me about his amazing date. I tell you, if I was a woman, I would be all over Mike. No doubt. Whoever he marries is going to be a lucky girl, seeing as how he goes through such great lengths to make others happy. God is making him into a wonderful man, and he has this growing desire to serve the Lord. It's sexy.
I left his place at about midnight, and went back to the house because I forgot my parking pass. I hung around and talked to Momma for half an hour about school, and how silly my class is. Then, I went back to the dorm, grabbing a strawberry/oreo milkshake from Cookout on the way. I was listening to the local talk radio station since K-Love wasn't coming in clear, and heard about the mess that's going on in the middle east, and how it's sending gas prices soaring. I decided to fill up Mom's car in order to save money down the road, expecting gas to hit close to four dollars per gallon soon.
When I got inside, I saw that Sarah had left me a message telling me that she emailed me. I checked it, hesitantly, and saw that she thought I hate her. It looked like, in the letter, that she wanted to let me know that she is not trying to play games with me, and that she doesn't want me to disappear, either. In her message, it said that I should call her when I got the message. It also said that she signed off only half an hour before I read it, so I took a chance and called her. I really don't care if her parents find out. After all, it's not like I am pursuing a relationship with her. Also, she told me to call, so it's her own fault if she gets caught. In my opinion, she needs to stand up for her rights as a twenty-year-old adult, and stop letting her parents push her around so much. She is old enough and mature enough to make her own decisions (and mistakes). Her parents are overly protective of her, even now, when she should be out on her own anyway.
But that's just my opinion, and it isn't worth much. I am keeping her in my prayers, and I hope God uses her in the doing of his will, blessing her every day.
I called Sarah, and we talked for nearly two hours. I explained how much she had hurt me, and once we got that out of the way, we actually had a nice conversation. I told her a little about what's going on, and she told me a little about her new job and some other things. I was happy to talk to her again, and I am glad that I don't have the pressure of seeing her as a girlfriend, or even a possible girlfriend. She is my friend, and a sister in the Lord, and that's all. I won't deny the possibility that we might have something in the future, but it is not something that I am going to work for or plan on. Very simply, if I do God's will to the best of my ability, relying on him, I will be okay. He knows what's best for me more than I do, and he wants me to be happy more than I do. Faith is where it is at, so I need to work on having faith in God.
After I got of the phone with her, I spent the rest of the night (morning) watching Naruto. It is getting better and better, but I can't help but compare the style of action/drama to Dragon Ball Z, a very cheesey, old anime. Hey, it's entertaining, right?
Now I am tired. I need to go to Best Buy tomorrow and pick up a case fan for my computer. I need to go to bed now, seeing as how the sun is well up in the sky, and my eyelids are heavy. I have been happier today than I have been in a long time, and I give God the glory for this entirely. He is working on me, and I can feel it.
Goodnight.
I woke up at 5:00 p.m. since I stayed up last night writing my last letter to Sarah, and it was nine pages long. I showered and got dressed, then had to rush to get to Man Clan. Half way down the road I realized that I forgot deodorant, and had to make an emergency pit stop at the house to apply some before I went on to Bojangle's. That made me about twenty minutes late, but it was okay because we usually eat for an hour before the Bible study begins. I about flipped out when I saw one of my old Young Life leaders sitting at the table. His nickname is Hook, and he is a beast of a man if there ever was one. That guy is one part man, one part bear, and one part steel. The beautiful thing is, now he is closer to God than ever, and I noticed a huge change from when I last saw him about two years ago. He also got himself engaged to a nice girl (from what I hear), and I know he will make a great husband and father.
I got my usual meal, Cajun chicken sandwich combo, and joined the men. We talked about the qualities of a Godly man today, and it was intense. We went through about 30 different scripture passages, all proclaiming what men are to be in Christ. Needless to say, I needed to hear this stuff badly. I am so happy that I came to the decision to rest in the Lord yesterday, because I could listen to the Bible study without being hindered by my own self-pity and regret. I could take everything and apply it to my life, understanding that God was speaking to me.
After two and a half hours of pure man-ness, we finally ended the study and went our seperate ways. It started looking gloomy outside, and there were distant flashes of lightning. I went home because I needed to change cars with Dad again. My car keeps having trouble starting, and Dad needs to check it out, so I am using Mom's car for the time being. I also hung around and told Mom about my decision to put Sarah behind me, and allow Jesus to move me forward. After that, I went to Mike's house so that I could share the same thing with him, and also because he had yet to tell me about his wonderful date with Angela on Tuesday.
We sat on his porch and watched the storm pass as we talked. I gave him the basic outline about the conclusions I came to about Sarah, and he was happy that I finally decided to act on the advice he had been giving me. We also talked about his current female interest, Angela, and a few other things. It was interesting because it seemed like every time one of us said something good, lightning struck and thunder rolled nearby. I don't place much weight on such things, but it was fun to talk about. It started raining really hard, and we decided to get up and head inside to stay dry. Just as we were opening the door, a bolt of lightning struck right across the street from his house, probably a tree or mailbox. It hit about twenty feet away, and scared the bodily fluids out of both of us. Mike almost ran me over trying to get inside. I mean, this thing was so close you could feel it on your arm hairs. It was exciting.
We finished our conversation inside, and he told me about his amazing date. I tell you, if I was a woman, I would be all over Mike. No doubt. Whoever he marries is going to be a lucky girl, seeing as how he goes through such great lengths to make others happy. God is making him into a wonderful man, and he has this growing desire to serve the Lord. It's sexy.
I left his place at about midnight, and went back to the house because I forgot my parking pass. I hung around and talked to Momma for half an hour about school, and how silly my class is. Then, I went back to the dorm, grabbing a strawberry/oreo milkshake from Cookout on the way. I was listening to the local talk radio station since K-Love wasn't coming in clear, and heard about the mess that's going on in the middle east, and how it's sending gas prices soaring. I decided to fill up Mom's car in order to save money down the road, expecting gas to hit close to four dollars per gallon soon.
When I got inside, I saw that Sarah had left me a message telling me that she emailed me. I checked it, hesitantly, and saw that she thought I hate her. It looked like, in the letter, that she wanted to let me know that she is not trying to play games with me, and that she doesn't want me to disappear, either. In her message, it said that I should call her when I got the message. It also said that she signed off only half an hour before I read it, so I took a chance and called her. I really don't care if her parents find out. After all, it's not like I am pursuing a relationship with her. Also, she told me to call, so it's her own fault if she gets caught. In my opinion, she needs to stand up for her rights as a twenty-year-old adult, and stop letting her parents push her around so much. She is old enough and mature enough to make her own decisions (and mistakes). Her parents are overly protective of her, even now, when she should be out on her own anyway.
But that's just my opinion, and it isn't worth much. I am keeping her in my prayers, and I hope God uses her in the doing of his will, blessing her every day.
I called Sarah, and we talked for nearly two hours. I explained how much she had hurt me, and once we got that out of the way, we actually had a nice conversation. I told her a little about what's going on, and she told me a little about her new job and some other things. I was happy to talk to her again, and I am glad that I don't have the pressure of seeing her as a girlfriend, or even a possible girlfriend. She is my friend, and a sister in the Lord, and that's all. I won't deny the possibility that we might have something in the future, but it is not something that I am going to work for or plan on. Very simply, if I do God's will to the best of my ability, relying on him, I will be okay. He knows what's best for me more than I do, and he wants me to be happy more than I do. Faith is where it is at, so I need to work on having faith in God.
After I got of the phone with her, I spent the rest of the night (morning) watching Naruto. It is getting better and better, but I can't help but compare the style of action/drama to Dragon Ball Z, a very cheesey, old anime. Hey, it's entertaining, right?
Now I am tired. I need to go to Best Buy tomorrow and pick up a case fan for my computer. I need to go to bed now, seeing as how the sun is well up in the sky, and my eyelids are heavy. I have been happier today than I have been in a long time, and I give God the glory for this entirely. He is working on me, and I can feel it.
Goodnight.