whatever happened to bornhoffen apricot acidophilus yoghurt?
So here i am in slightly better shape than yesterday, though my head still hurts after a weekend of indulgence which exceeded all others previously in the consumption of something particular. I feel somewhat chagrined to note that I do these things in a kind of penance, to earn my karmic stripes of a sort. I've always held this belief that suffering makes people more intricate as a personality, that kind of hidden darkness behind the wry smile has always appealed to me. The indulgence has often come from a sense of guilt though I haven't quite found out what I feel guilty about yet, everything I guess, but then nothing as well. Its funny though but this whole atonement through self destruction is kind of redundant when I really need to be reconciling with myself. The thing is though there has always been a sense of clarity and perspective afterwards, an energy to assist the deconstruction and renewal of aspects of myself that I don't like. As wanky as it sounds I think I have a passion for being a martyr to my internal dialogue. Heh.
I've taken it too far now. I've hated arrogance and can't stand it in people, its one of the worst aspects I can find in a person. So I embraced humility as best as possible, tried to be as unassuming as i could but now the shy has taken over and I find myself incapable of meeting/talking to new people. I'm going to try and take my confidence back, its here somewhere. Plus I don't like this neurotic behaviour which is developing, its painful and not at all helpful.
I was the only goth/emo/punk boi at future music, that made me laugh. I also had 21 people approach me to ask me questions at the gate as evidently I looked like security whilst waiting for a friend to arrive.
I've taken it too far now. I've hated arrogance and can't stand it in people, its one of the worst aspects I can find in a person. So I embraced humility as best as possible, tried to be as unassuming as i could but now the shy has taken over and I find myself incapable of meeting/talking to new people. I'm going to try and take my confidence back, its here somewhere. Plus I don't like this neurotic behaviour which is developing, its painful and not at all helpful.
I was the only goth/emo/punk boi at future music, that made me laugh. I also had 21 people approach me to ask me questions at the gate as evidently I looked like security whilst waiting for a friend to arrive.