Wow... it has been forever...
It has been forever since I wrote in this thing. However, now I need to vent and I have the internet at my fingertips for once. It is a lot faster than trying to write all this stuff down.
BASICALLY, my life is in the shitter right now. In the past year and a half or so, I have met a man, fallen deeply in love, gotten engaged, planned a wedding, called off said wedding, called it back on, back off again, and NOW he wants to tell me we shoul spend some time apart. What in the holy hell. BTW: I did not call off the wedding either time. I have a fucking $1,000 dress hanging in my parent's house.
And this man has been through foreclosure on his home, repo on his car, bankruptcy, we lived with friends AND his parents and did I cut and run? NO! Not once. I was so effing supportive. And it seems like we are only apart right now because I happen to be going through a rough patch in MY life but seriously...??
It seems like he's being a coward and trying to frustrate me to the point of saying "fuck it" and leaving him so that HE can be the victim as usual. So that everyone says "Oh, poor you. She was an immature bitch" or some crap like that. What the fuck ever.
I miss him so much it hurts. But I miss the man I met, not the one who told me he is supposedly in love with me but does not want to see me for a week to see if we can make it.
NEWS FLASH: Of course we're going to make it through a week alone. It is not like this is the end of the damn world. Even if we ultimately end up apart for good, we're still going to live though it. At least, I plan to. So really, what good is five days of not speaking going to do for us?
Fuckin' shit. This certainly has not been my most eloquent entry but damn it all, I am angry, hurt, embarrassed, and rejected. And I deserve better than that.
Hope everyone else out there in cyberspace is doing better than I am and if you find the time, say a prayer for me.
God Bless.
BASICALLY, my life is in the shitter right now. In the past year and a half or so, I have met a man, fallen deeply in love, gotten engaged, planned a wedding, called off said wedding, called it back on, back off again, and NOW he wants to tell me we shoul spend some time apart. What in the holy hell. BTW: I did not call off the wedding either time. I have a fucking $1,000 dress hanging in my parent's house.
And this man has been through foreclosure on his home, repo on his car, bankruptcy, we lived with friends AND his parents and did I cut and run? NO! Not once. I was so effing supportive. And it seems like we are only apart right now because I happen to be going through a rough patch in MY life but seriously...??
It seems like he's being a coward and trying to frustrate me to the point of saying "fuck it" and leaving him so that HE can be the victim as usual. So that everyone says "Oh, poor you. She was an immature bitch" or some crap like that. What the fuck ever.
I miss him so much it hurts. But I miss the man I met, not the one who told me he is supposedly in love with me but does not want to see me for a week to see if we can make it.
NEWS FLASH: Of course we're going to make it through a week alone. It is not like this is the end of the damn world. Even if we ultimately end up apart for good, we're still going to live though it. At least, I plan to. So really, what good is five days of not speaking going to do for us?
Fuckin' shit. This certainly has not been my most eloquent entry but damn it all, I am angry, hurt, embarrassed, and rejected. And I deserve better than that.
Hope everyone else out there in cyberspace is doing better than I am and if you find the time, say a prayer for me.
God Bless.