Not feeling sad
I was just telling someone at work about the situation with my old friend. And as I was talking about it I realized I am relieved. I am relieved that it happened.
I tend to be the type of person that holds on to things long after I should have ceased. There are few people that I just stop being friends with. At least as far as I claim them as being friends.
And it normally takes something pretty monumentous for me to make that decision. And after getting a message from my friend's wife but not him. Yeah, that is the event.
So I'm relieved. I know what the status of that relationship is and that is past tense. So that is one less Christmas card to send out and one less address to have in my enormous collection. (I really don't let go, I was not exagerating.)
I thought I would be hurt. And I was that day. Yet I could not maintain that feeling because I had nothing to base it on. So the hurt crumpled. If anything I am more sad because I do not feel hurt. And that is just sad.
So now I am wondering why I am writing so much on this topic. Part of it is guilt. I don't feel bad and so I need to explain to myself why I don't. Part of it is because this is what is on my mind. Part of it is just to have something to write about that may be interesting to others. I mean griping about work is only interesting for so long and you can only write so many posts on the same topic before people stop paying attention.
And now I should probably get off before I get caught online at work. Now that would be something that would make me really sad! *grins*
I tend to be the type of person that holds on to things long after I should have ceased. There are few people that I just stop being friends with. At least as far as I claim them as being friends.
And it normally takes something pretty monumentous for me to make that decision. And after getting a message from my friend's wife but not him. Yeah, that is the event.
So I'm relieved. I know what the status of that relationship is and that is past tense. So that is one less Christmas card to send out and one less address to have in my enormous collection. (I really don't let go, I was not exagerating.)
I thought I would be hurt. And I was that day. Yet I could not maintain that feeling because I had nothing to base it on. So the hurt crumpled. If anything I am more sad because I do not feel hurt. And that is just sad.
So now I am wondering why I am writing so much on this topic. Part of it is guilt. I don't feel bad and so I need to explain to myself why I don't. Part of it is because this is what is on my mind. Part of it is just to have something to write about that may be interesting to others. I mean griping about work is only interesting for so long and you can only write so many posts on the same topic before people stop paying attention.
And now I should probably get off before I get caught online at work. Now that would be something that would make me really sad! *grins*