the dirt.
so last night my family left and i rushed right out da door and on to kasey's. after much confusion, we planned it that we would go see todd play in seperate cars then she would bounce at like 11ish and go back to her house cuz mad people were coming over to partay for the night. so it turned out that todd was playing 3 hours! which was rather awesome and long and emotionally draning yet thirlling all in the same. the boy is beautiful and he so has my heart its not even funny. he sang to me the entire day which was a bit intimidating but i worked it well. i must admitt that i looked like sex right then and there and it was perfect. i might regret writing in here what i am about to cuz its private and personal but i feel like i need to juice up this diary with the rawness so here it is. after todd playing to just me for an hour since kasey had left, he finished and we left. it was so fucking cliche but wonderful, he made me carry his guitar out to his car and he carried all the heavy stuff. i almost want to cry now. then he tells me that he's going to give me a ride to my car.. which is merely two spots away, clever way to get me in the car. then we get all cozy and warm and just talk. actaully we waste a lot of time bullshitting around. then we start making out and its beautiful. not the first hook up we have had either. then i procceeded to make it difficult for him to leave but it was the defenite outcome reguardless. he had to be home and he had a house full of guests and i was susposed to go party it up and it was so late and we were so tired. so i finially just pull away and leave. which was pretty damn hott. im learning how to leave before i can be left. i am proud of myself. so i want this boy and i know pretty much that i could never have him completely. he has lots of baggage that i can't even say. but my little heart is going pitter pat. i'm seeing him in two weeks and i already have butterflies. fuck...