(no subject)
I'm having a lot of trouble writing this entry, because I want to capture allllllll of the different things I'm feeling in it, and I'm the worst at being articulate in these sort of things.
This morning at 9:30 was our second and last performance of Les Miserables. You would think, that any person with a scrap of sensibility in their heads would feel that it was insane to watch a showing of Les Mis so early in the morning, and after our full house yesterday afternoon, I was almost certain that we would be playing to an audience of 12 people or so. Mannnnn. We delayed the starting time because there was a line up around the block corner to get in, resulting in another full house. Completely unexpected, atleast for me.
We were SO phenomenal. Really, there was so much intensity, building up from all of the incredible work that we've done, and we were so...just...there, and into it and wowwwwww. I was just...connected...and full and IN LOVE and GOD I suck at describing feelings this deep. And after we died in the middle of Act two, Abbey and I whined to ourselves about how we won't ever get to die again like that. And even though it was all in fun, those deaths are so powerful. I don't know if you can tell from the audience, but I've actually had so much trouble not letting the death scene affect me. Very very powerful.
Then there was the finale, and we all come on as "ghosts" singing with these gorgeous chords, and I just thought "Wowww, this is amazing" And then it was over and the bows started and when I led my group in their bow I burst into tears. And the music was going loudly and the entire audience stood up and I felt like shouting "DAMMIT, SIT DOWN FOOLS, YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY" But I didn't, because that would've been a little inappropriate. But it was awful. And indescribable. Just.....jeeeeeeeeeeez. And we left the stage like we were supposed to and the cast congregated in the lower lobby and felt proud of ourselves and what we'd accomplished in the last 10 days. And it was beautiful. And by that time, most everyone was in tears. And then the audience started filing out and I tried to make myself look a little more presentable, but when my mom came out and hugged me, she asked if I had been crying and I said "Yeah" and she asked why and I blurted out "I have no idea" and began to cry again.
I could've been crying from how emotionally demanding the show was, or I could've been crying because it was over, or I could've been crying because we had such an amazing audience, or I could've been crying because my costume was hot and uncomfortable, or I could've been crying because I'm worn out and sleep deprived, or I could've been crying because I have been working at Taproot since I was 10, and in that time I have become incredibly attached and close to three people there: Nick, Leif, and Steffi, and Nick and Leif are leaving for college in only a few days, and Steffi's graduating this coming year, and the thought of being in these shows without them now is actually unbearable. I love them so much. Soooooo so much. And while I want Leif and Nick to go off and have an amazing time in college, I also want them to stay here. With me, at Taproot. I think I sorta thought that things would go on for forever, and it's just plain weird to know that this stage of my life with this phenomenal group of people is ending.
Gaaaaaaahhh I want to do this show with these people again and again and again and again. Annnnd again.
PLUS I'm not ready at all for school to begin. Can't we just press the "pause" button and keep things where they are?
And this is getting too long but I just wanted to share with you the highlight of my day so far. Which little Gavroche (played fabulously by Jeremy) gets shot, right before all of the revolutionaries are killed, I was looking into the audience over the barricade (still in character, of course) and noticed two men, one I recognized to be my friend's father, and the other was another castmember's grandfather, holding hands and full on sobbing. I mentioned it to the two people and they looked at each other and said "Does your grandfather even know my dad?" "No, I don't think so!"
Haha.
This morning at 9:30 was our second and last performance of Les Miserables. You would think, that any person with a scrap of sensibility in their heads would feel that it was insane to watch a showing of Les Mis so early in the morning, and after our full house yesterday afternoon, I was almost certain that we would be playing to an audience of 12 people or so. Mannnnn. We delayed the starting time because there was a line up around the block corner to get in, resulting in another full house. Completely unexpected, atleast for me.
We were SO phenomenal. Really, there was so much intensity, building up from all of the incredible work that we've done, and we were so...just...there, and into it and wowwwwww. I was just...connected...and full and IN LOVE and GOD I suck at describing feelings this deep. And after we died in the middle of Act two, Abbey and I whined to ourselves about how we won't ever get to die again like that. And even though it was all in fun, those deaths are so powerful. I don't know if you can tell from the audience, but I've actually had so much trouble not letting the death scene affect me. Very very powerful.
Then there was the finale, and we all come on as "ghosts" singing with these gorgeous chords, and I just thought "Wowww, this is amazing" And then it was over and the bows started and when I led my group in their bow I burst into tears. And the music was going loudly and the entire audience stood up and I felt like shouting "DAMMIT, SIT DOWN FOOLS, YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY" But I didn't, because that would've been a little inappropriate. But it was awful. And indescribable. Just.....jeeeeeeeeeeez. And we left the stage like we were supposed to and the cast congregated in the lower lobby and felt proud of ourselves and what we'd accomplished in the last 10 days. And it was beautiful. And by that time, most everyone was in tears. And then the audience started filing out and I tried to make myself look a little more presentable, but when my mom came out and hugged me, she asked if I had been crying and I said "Yeah" and she asked why and I blurted out "I have no idea" and began to cry again.
I could've been crying from how emotionally demanding the show was, or I could've been crying because it was over, or I could've been crying because we had such an amazing audience, or I could've been crying because my costume was hot and uncomfortable, or I could've been crying because I'm worn out and sleep deprived, or I could've been crying because I have been working at Taproot since I was 10, and in that time I have become incredibly attached and close to three people there: Nick, Leif, and Steffi, and Nick and Leif are leaving for college in only a few days, and Steffi's graduating this coming year, and the thought of being in these shows without them now is actually unbearable. I love them so much. Soooooo so much. And while I want Leif and Nick to go off and have an amazing time in college, I also want them to stay here. With me, at Taproot. I think I sorta thought that things would go on for forever, and it's just plain weird to know that this stage of my life with this phenomenal group of people is ending.
Gaaaaaaahhh I want to do this show with these people again and again and again and again. Annnnd again.
PLUS I'm not ready at all for school to begin. Can't we just press the "pause" button and keep things where they are?
And this is getting too long but I just wanted to share with you the highlight of my day so far. Which little Gavroche (played fabulously by Jeremy) gets shot, right before all of the revolutionaries are killed, I was looking into the audience over the barricade (still in character, of course) and noticed two men, one I recognized to be my friend's father, and the other was another castmember's grandfather, holding hands and full on sobbing. I mentioned it to the two people and they looked at each other and said "Does your grandfather even know my dad?" "No, I don't think so!"
Haha.