I am Jack's complete and utter frustrated hate....
(...but not Jill's nipples. HA!)
Sometimes I wish I could just run away. Get out of here. Leave everyone behind.
I hate my so-called 'friends'. I hate Claire Grace and Josie for not giving me enough of a chance because I'm not cool enough. I hate Katie Meghan Stephanie and Laura for having problems with obsessions and boring the crap out of me. I hate Steve for refusing to take a hint. I hate Dan for not realizing that I could be the best thing that could ever happen to him. Let's face it- I. Hate. People. People make me act in an awkward fashion. Hanging out with boys is a little easier than being with girls. But I don't feel that guys get me as fully as girls do.
I hate myself. I hate my big mouth. I hate how I feel like I have to prove a 'cred' to everyone new. I hate how I'm too old. I hate how I'm too young. I hate hating myself. I hate my lethargy.
I hate my family for not seeing me for me. I hate my family for denying that bad shit happens in life and that's that.
I hate sitting on the couch on the internet again instead of being out experiencing the world. I hate all sports that are competitve. (I like playing soccer for fun, and would like to join a team for fun, but I don't have the money.)
Who I am hates who I've been.
I hate people who use the word 'gay' as an adjective to describe something bad.
I hate everything. If I could just pass out for ten years and forget everything, I would.
I need a new life.
I need the independence I've been denied my whole life.
I think I just need to punch someone.
I need the world to change.
I need people to start taking responsibility for their own fuck ups.
But that'll never happen.
And I'm not getting out of here for another year and a half or so.
But even then...how do I reinvent myself, when I've been stuck in this rut for years? When for now, I just automatically start going through the motions that lead to me making an ass of myself?
I need to be a hermit.
Sometimes I wish I could just run away. Get out of here. Leave everyone behind.
I hate my so-called 'friends'. I hate Claire Grace and Josie for not giving me enough of a chance because I'm not cool enough. I hate Katie Meghan Stephanie and Laura for having problems with obsessions and boring the crap out of me. I hate Steve for refusing to take a hint. I hate Dan for not realizing that I could be the best thing that could ever happen to him. Let's face it- I. Hate. People. People make me act in an awkward fashion. Hanging out with boys is a little easier than being with girls. But I don't feel that guys get me as fully as girls do.
I hate myself. I hate my big mouth. I hate how I feel like I have to prove a 'cred' to everyone new. I hate how I'm too old. I hate how I'm too young. I hate hating myself. I hate my lethargy.
I hate my family for not seeing me for me. I hate my family for denying that bad shit happens in life and that's that.
I hate sitting on the couch on the internet again instead of being out experiencing the world. I hate all sports that are competitve. (I like playing soccer for fun, and would like to join a team for fun, but I don't have the money.)
Who I am hates who I've been.
I hate people who use the word 'gay' as an adjective to describe something bad.
I hate everything. If I could just pass out for ten years and forget everything, I would.
I need a new life.
I need the independence I've been denied my whole life.
I think I just need to punch someone.
I need the world to change.
I need people to start taking responsibility for their own fuck ups.
But that'll never happen.
And I'm not getting out of here for another year and a half or so.
But even then...how do I reinvent myself, when I've been stuck in this rut for years? When for now, I just automatically start going through the motions that lead to me making an ass of myself?
I need to be a hermit.