Help finding a K/S reboot story with Kirk contemplating suicide
Dear Saintly Helpful Anons-- I read this story sometime last December, and now I'm ticked that I CAN'T remember for the life of me what its title was or where exactly I found it because I've been mainlining STXI fic for 2 months straight, and I apparently forgot to bookmark, gah.
The story's reboot Kirk/Spock, pre-slash at the start and slash by the end. Kirk is pining after Spock, and the mental stress of hiding that plus other stuff coming down puts him into depression leading to an old tendency of Kirk's towards suicidal ideation. The main thing about this story which really stuck with me was a scene where while waiting to meet with Pike, Jim's suicidal thinking crystallises into actual intent to do a 50-foot swan dive out the window, but he's caught by Spock and McCoy before he can actually act on it. After the big blowout Spock gets Kirk to confess the root cause behind his current problem and they get together. Memory's a LOT fuzzy, but that was about what I can remember. I think it's on LJ, but cannot be certain.
50000 internets and a model Enterprise with figurines of the command crew to the anon who can identify this fic and put me out of my misery!
The story's reboot Kirk/Spock, pre-slash at the start and slash by the end. Kirk is pining after Spock, and the mental stress of hiding that plus other stuff coming down puts him into depression leading to an old tendency of Kirk's towards suicidal ideation. The main thing about this story which really stuck with me was a scene where while waiting to meet with Pike, Jim's suicidal thinking crystallises into actual intent to do a 50-foot swan dive out the window, but he's caught by Spock and McCoy before he can actually act on it. After the big blowout Spock gets Kirk to confess the root cause behind his current problem and they get together. Memory's a LOT fuzzy, but that was about what I can remember. I think it's on LJ, but cannot be certain.
50000 internets and a model Enterprise with figurines of the command crew to the anon who can identify this fic and put me out of my misery!