Adjustments (1/?)
Title: Adjustments (1/?)
Rating: 15
Author: ssw_loved
Pairing: Danny/Becker, mentions of Abby/Connor
Spoilers: season 4 spoilers, episodes 1&2 as well
Warnings: angst; this is going to be a dark one, folks.
Beta: the amazing as always fredbasset
Summary: They’d fought and won the first battle, but Becker knew the war itself was going to be dark.
Notes: This story begins as if Danny has made it back home after a year and two months in the African rift valley without any human company, and picks up an hour or two after he’s made it back through an anomaly. The idea was partially sparked by Abby and Connor’s last scene in 4.01, where Abby felt as if she still had to keep watch. If two people going through that came back emotionally scarred … what kind of problems is Danny going to have after being by himself?
Captain Becker’s jaw clenched as he heard the door opening. It was simple enough to say that he didn’t want to be here, and at the same time, there was no other place that he’d think of going. Lifting his eyes from one of the numerous files on his lap, Becker’s suspicions were confirmed. Glad to have medical proxy, he signed with just an initial for the first name, stood, and returned the forms to a blue-eyed, red haired nurse all before Abby and Connor had crossed the distance from the door to where he was standing.
Abby reached him first, though Connor wasn’t far behind. Becker carefully rearranged his expression so that his jaw was no longer clenched, so he outwardly reflected a calm he was very far from actually feeling. That was what he had to project now - not as the leader of their security team, but as their friend. Because, despite his feelings for the man lying in a hospital bed, there wasn’t a doubt in Becker’s mind that all of this was going to hurt Connor and Abby.
They were the ones who had been stuck in the past for over a year, not him. They were the two who knew what this was like, or as close of an approximation there could possibly be with something like this.
And they were feeling guilty. He could see it in their eyes every time one of the more foolish ARC members brought him up carelessly in conversation (and Becker was always sure send dagger looks in that person’s direction.)
Abby, Connor, Lester, himself - these were the only people who knew. They were the only people who didn’t know Danny Quinn from some bloody file that said nothing but skills and attributes and height. That didn’t equal knowing a person, and in Becker’s opinion, it meant they were deluding themselves.
Maybe he was being harsh, but he wasn’t in the best of moods.
And he had the right.
He’d ridden in the ambulance with Danny, to the hospital from the anomaly site, but the older man had barely spoken a word. It hadn’t stopped Becker from talking, and he’d suddenly understood why Connor never seemed to stop. It was an easy way to take control - and Becker was used to being in control - when everything around him had suddenly been moving at a blindingly fast pace. Medical jargon being spoken so fast he could barely catch it, Danny mumbling an occasional word that made little sense and flinching away from every sound and every hand.
Including Becker’s.
“He’s doing all right, Abby.” He told her, even though the words hardly sounded convincing to his own ears. After so many months of hell, it was all he wanted for the team to smile again - but they were far from it.
Abby’s eyes were undeniably filled with tears. Becker thought about looking away, giving her some privacy - but it would have been detrimental as she was doing everything she could to keep her eyes on him.
“Cut the crap, Becker.” She snapped, and his face almost registered surprise before he pulled the neutral expression back into place. Her eyes darted towards Connor at her side before going back to him. When she spoke again, her voice was softer. “We all saw him, okay? We know he’s not alright.”
Becker shifted his weight from one foot to the other, crossing his arms uncomfortably over his chest.
Memories of the man in question stumbling back through the anomaly, barely able to stand, looking like death reheated - twice - swam to the front of Becker’s consciousness and he found himself resisting the urge to inquire about the nearest supply of alcohol. He didn’t resist the urge to think about it.
Abby reached out as though to touch his arm, but dropped her hand midway.
“He’s sick,” Becker started, because any attempts at carefully planned lying had obviously failed. He tried to keep the tone of his voice as neutral as he was managing to keep his expression, but it was more difficult than he’d have thought. “He’s exhausted. Malnourished.” He trailed off, because all of those things were things the both of them had already known, and his next sentence would have been ‘he had to do it on his own’.
They already knew that, too.
Abby smiled, but it didn’t take a genius to see the strain beneath it. He instantly figured it was for his own sake, rather than a reaction to anything he’d said.
“He’ll be all right,” She told him, and he stopped short of raising his brow. “It’s Danny. He doesn’t give up too easily.”
“Or at all. It’s frightening sometimes.” Connor added, managing to gain the smallest of smiles from Becker.
“Why don’t you come with us, get something to eat while you can?” Abby suggested gently, causing Becker to glance in what he hoped was a subtle way towards the room he hadn’t yet been allowed in.
It was a good idea, he had to admit. But leaving the near proximity of Danny’s hospital room felt wrong.
“You can’t even go in yet,” She continued, meeting his eyes. “We’ll be back in ten minutes.”
“There are some great comic books in the gift shop.” Some things never changed - something Becker found he was grateful for. Not that he would ever think of admitting that. “I could introduce you to an entire new world, Becker. Great to pass the time…” He raised an eyebrow.
Keeping stoic, Becker stared him down. “Do I look like a comic books type of guy to you?”
Abby was rolling her eyes. “I’ll even make sure Conn keeps the nerd to a minimum.”
Connor might have been opening his mouth to say something, but it was drowned out by a loud crash from down the hallway.
Directly from the direction of Danny’s room.