yeah, it is late/early
and I am still awake. My mind had these thoughts, random, but connected, and I had to write them down so I can sleep.
I have a small fabric kimono creation, of polyester fabric, using various colors of poly dye in random patterns and colors. I put a butterfly on the back of it to give it a focal point. I made it in a fiber arts workshop last year I think, or the year before. Yeah, year before. I will take a photo of it and make it my new icon for my "transform into butterfly" items; those formerly known as "Project: Improving Me!" I realized I don't need "improving"; I just need to let the real me out to the surface, and transform from the frump to the butterfly. Sad it is polyester fabric, and not silk... but the colors, while odd and imperfectly done, shows the work of art at play, and the art inside me at play.
Today, well, yesterday while at the mall having lunch with my daughter, docryder andrwfranz, I kept noticing a variety of larger women in the food court, or around the children's play area (which is really now a toddler's play area, and my 3yo is too big to play there) ... anyway, the women I saw were like me, or like I once was in size. And they were dressed much like I was today, in sweat pants (my jeans were getting dried at home) and t-shirt and maybe a sweat shirt or hoodie. One had on a t-shirt much too small for her, so I could see her tummy hanging underneath where the bottom of the shirt ended. Another was dressed sloppily, with hair pulled back into a too tight bun or topknot, not sure which. All the women had that same self-defeated hunched over look that I think I have, or had... hard to say for sure with oneself. Self-defeated is not how I want to project myself to the world. Slob is not how I want to project myself, either. But I am not sure what words best fit what I *DO* want to project to the world?
Self assured, would be a nice projection. At peace with one self. Accomplished. Kimiko, for that is who I am; but unlike fashion designers, I don't want to see my name plastered across people's chests or rear ends. But I do think that I can reflect my enjoyment of embroidered and simple embellishments in the clothes I do make.
When I was younger, my favorite female singers were ladies who had voices that were strong, powerful, and usually had quite the vocal range. Annie Lennox with her short red hair and pale skin. Pat Benatar with a 3+ octave power range, and an opera-trained voice. Madonna for some reason I don't recall. When I went back to college, my music was heavily influenced by ren-faire staples, like Loreena McKennitt and Kate Price, who could feel a variety of styles, but were otherwise soft spoken. I don't know why this stuck in my mind, but I have a feeling that while my choices have changed over the years, all are women that seem to know who they are, and what their passions are; which is music. I once had a passion for music, and for dance, and my inner teen misses those powerful voices and movement in my life. I need to return to that as well.
I think that's enough now. Sleep is calling.
I have a small fabric kimono creation, of polyester fabric, using various colors of poly dye in random patterns and colors. I put a butterfly on the back of it to give it a focal point. I made it in a fiber arts workshop last year I think, or the year before. Yeah, year before. I will take a photo of it and make it my new icon for my "transform into butterfly" items; those formerly known as "Project: Improving Me!" I realized I don't need "improving"; I just need to let the real me out to the surface, and transform from the frump to the butterfly. Sad it is polyester fabric, and not silk... but the colors, while odd and imperfectly done, shows the work of art at play, and the art inside me at play.
Today, well, yesterday while at the mall having lunch with my daughter, docryder andrwfranz, I kept noticing a variety of larger women in the food court, or around the children's play area (which is really now a toddler's play area, and my 3yo is too big to play there) ... anyway, the women I saw were like me, or like I once was in size. And they were dressed much like I was today, in sweat pants (my jeans were getting dried at home) and t-shirt and maybe a sweat shirt or hoodie. One had on a t-shirt much too small for her, so I could see her tummy hanging underneath where the bottom of the shirt ended. Another was dressed sloppily, with hair pulled back into a too tight bun or topknot, not sure which. All the women had that same self-defeated hunched over look that I think I have, or had... hard to say for sure with oneself. Self-defeated is not how I want to project myself to the world. Slob is not how I want to project myself, either. But I am not sure what words best fit what I *DO* want to project to the world?
Self assured, would be a nice projection. At peace with one self. Accomplished. Kimiko, for that is who I am; but unlike fashion designers, I don't want to see my name plastered across people's chests or rear ends. But I do think that I can reflect my enjoyment of embroidered and simple embellishments in the clothes I do make.
When I was younger, my favorite female singers were ladies who had voices that were strong, powerful, and usually had quite the vocal range. Annie Lennox with her short red hair and pale skin. Pat Benatar with a 3+ octave power range, and an opera-trained voice. Madonna for some reason I don't recall. When I went back to college, my music was heavily influenced by ren-faire staples, like Loreena McKennitt and Kate Price, who could feel a variety of styles, but were otherwise soft spoken. I don't know why this stuck in my mind, but I have a feeling that while my choices have changed over the years, all are women that seem to know who they are, and what their passions are; which is music. I once had a passion for music, and for dance, and my inner teen misses those powerful voices and movement in my life. I need to return to that as well.
I think that's enough now. Sleep is calling.