I'm sorry to hear you were struggling as well. I'm glad to hear you've found the time to start recharging. Gosh, I hope it's not *only* stress free time that does it :\
Though, last year I was seeing a behavior therapist, and what I explicitly wanted from her was to learn how to cope (both reduce effects of stress coming in, and recover from it) and I felt like I came out of every appointment two or three times more upset than going in. It was a very disappointing, negative experience. If she had just said "it takes time" I could have saved a lot of co-pays and a lot of time and a lot of upset. Hmm. I guess I owe you $40 :)
I know it's a challenge to build reasonable expectations. Ah, another good thing to worry about. I don't want to shoot too low and just write him off as good as dead, but setting too high is, you're right, bad. It's hard to find a balance of motivating "he won't be around forever" that keeps me engaged without tipping over to the guilty "he won't be around forever, so I shouldn't have my own life/should be filled with regret"
Oh man. I would love to hear what's going on (accountant battle!) from your side too. I mostly don't meet with them in person, and it's so hard to read tone from the emails. But I'm pretty much at the end of my rope for dealing with the one in particular. I try not to make it personal, but she wasted 3 of my morning hours yesterday with something that took her boss (when I finally asked) less than 10 minutes to deal with. Another situation where I'm just out of patience and constantly without recharge time!! BAH.
The 13 months from beginning of May 2010 to beginning of June 2011 really sucked for us. I don't know what's it's like to be you right now, but here's what I've been pondering in case it's useful:
You have nothing to prove to him or yourself. On one hand, what you're doing is plenty, and on the other nothing will ever be enough. The important thing is that you love him, and he knows you love him.
As far as office gossip goes, we should totally do lunch. Though I don't want to deceive you by pretending I have a lot of dirt to share.
Though, last year I was seeing a behavior therapist, and what I explicitly wanted from her was to learn how to cope (both reduce effects of stress coming in, and recover from it) and I felt like I came out of every appointment two or three times more upset than going in. It was a very disappointing, negative experience. If she had just said "it takes time" I could have saved a lot of co-pays and a lot of time and a lot of upset. Hmm. I guess I owe you $40 :)
I know it's a challenge to build reasonable expectations. Ah, another good thing to worry about. I don't want to shoot too low and just write him off as good as dead, but setting too high is, you're right, bad. It's hard to find a balance of motivating "he won't be around forever" that keeps me engaged without tipping over to the guilty "he won't be around forever, so I shouldn't have my own life/should be filled with regret"
Oh man. I would love to hear what's going on (accountant battle!) from your side too. I mostly don't meet with them in person, and it's so hard to read tone from the emails. But I'm pretty much at the end of my rope for dealing with the one in particular. I try not to make it personal, but she wasted 3 of my morning hours yesterday with something that took her boss (when I finally asked) less than 10 minutes to deal with. Another situation where I'm just out of patience and constantly without recharge time!! BAH.
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You have nothing to prove to him or yourself. On one hand, what you're doing is plenty, and on the other nothing will ever be enough. The important thing is that you love him, and he knows you love him.
As far as office gossip goes, we should totally do lunch. Though I don't want to deceive you by pretending I have a lot of dirt to share.
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