stress and coping
On Friday, I missed a text from my mom. It said something with my dad wasn't "right" so she was taking him to see the doctor. She asked for my help with transportation. I didn't get the text until after the appointment was to end. I was very upset I'd missed it. She didn't respond when I asked how things were. She hadn't contacted my brother or Nate, and by the time I got home and really expected to hear something from her the doctor's office was closed so I couldn't get an update from them. Then I started getting really worried, and really upset.
That's when I realized my emotional stores were literally gone. I flew into an uncontrolled tizzy of stress- crying, panicing, thinking of all the worse possible outcomes. All completely unecessary, as a while later, my mom let me know that they were getting some dinner and the doctor had ordered some more tests next week. We stopped by that evening to see how they were.
It feels like my dad is getting worse. He sleeps more, he's unsteady on his feet, he's got a lot of muscle aches and weakness, he seems to have a harder time forming sentences and finding words when he talks. So we've been kind of worried about him.
Last weekend, he fell. He was out on a walk to the coffee store and he fell. Someone passing by was kind enough to give him a ride home. He said he was fine, took a nap. Woke up with all this chest pain (huge bruise on his chest). So he went to the ER, stayed like alllllll day while they confirmed his chest pain was due to the fall. Again, I'd missed the message from my mom, contacted her much later at the ER, was able to help and bring them dinner. But it was stressful. Every time something bad happens to my dad, I have to face the fact he won't be around forever. And I get to thinking about their quality of life and that I should be doing more and that I should be spending more time with him while he's around. Ugh.
So the day after they were in the ER, Nate & I had a planning fail and he was double booked. ***STRESS*** Then I got a migraine, one of the worst ones I've had in a while. I was out Sunday afternoon and evening and all of Monday. The whole week I was fuzzy and sort of out of it. During the week, we had a scare with my parents' little dog, who it turns out has heart failure. Add in a few stressful things from work, including another bout with my nemisis the Accountant. Then Friday and my dad going back to the doctor.
I have GOT to figure out how to get my emotional stores back up. I feel just on the cusp of freaking out again, despite a weekend of relaxing camping. Or/and, I need to figure out how to be less rattled by stuff, so these things don't use me up so much.
That's when I realized my emotional stores were literally gone. I flew into an uncontrolled tizzy of stress- crying, panicing, thinking of all the worse possible outcomes. All completely unecessary, as a while later, my mom let me know that they were getting some dinner and the doctor had ordered some more tests next week. We stopped by that evening to see how they were.
It feels like my dad is getting worse. He sleeps more, he's unsteady on his feet, he's got a lot of muscle aches and weakness, he seems to have a harder time forming sentences and finding words when he talks. So we've been kind of worried about him.
Last weekend, he fell. He was out on a walk to the coffee store and he fell. Someone passing by was kind enough to give him a ride home. He said he was fine, took a nap. Woke up with all this chest pain (huge bruise on his chest). So he went to the ER, stayed like alllllll day while they confirmed his chest pain was due to the fall. Again, I'd missed the message from my mom, contacted her much later at the ER, was able to help and bring them dinner. But it was stressful. Every time something bad happens to my dad, I have to face the fact he won't be around forever. And I get to thinking about their quality of life and that I should be doing more and that I should be spending more time with him while he's around. Ugh.
So the day after they were in the ER, Nate & I had a planning fail and he was double booked. ***STRESS*** Then I got a migraine, one of the worst ones I've had in a while. I was out Sunday afternoon and evening and all of Monday. The whole week I was fuzzy and sort of out of it. During the week, we had a scare with my parents' little dog, who it turns out has heart failure. Add in a few stressful things from work, including another bout with my nemisis the Accountant. Then Friday and my dad going back to the doctor.
I have GOT to figure out how to get my emotional stores back up. I feel just on the cusp of freaking out again, despite a weekend of relaxing camping. Or/and, I need to figure out how to be less rattled by stuff, so these things don't use me up so much.