Social Isolation
We are in the second month of pandemic stay-in-place mode. It has not been difficult for me. I still see Ami and family often enough; still shop every two weeks; still bike around town. And, lying on the couch watching hours of K-drama while snacking on anything I desire is not a bad life for an introvert who has spent the last few years "un-tethering" from the world.
I have always been an observer - standing on the sidelines watching the world; I am even more so now. Sometimes it saddens me that this has resulted in having no invitations to 'zoom' with a group or that I am pretty much out of conversations about 'cyberrelationships' (prioproceptive coherence in cyberspace!). Mostly it saddens me that I am not useful nor needed in this shifting of culture - or, more precisely, I have backed away from being seen for so long that no one knows how I could be useful. That is the cost of untethering. I hadn't considered that when I began a few years ago; I thought being an observer was enough. I just wanted to walk softly on the planet. Being invisible seemed completely satisfying for me at the time.
Now I am observing the confusion about this sudden fall into a new world. People are struggling to make order of chaos. I hear the grief for lost 'normal'; for lost institutions; for lost certainty; for lost clarity and order. I fall back on my training in systems theory and I am intrigued. I welcome the chaos. The system has been ripped open and is no longer in homeostasis. It was overloaded- bloated, fetid, stagnant. Massive change was inevitable and is now imminent. This broken world is in fibrillation; humans are being shaken to their core. We could see a shift to higher complexity, or ... we will see a complete collapse.
For me, collapse is unimaginable. I do fear it, but find no use in wallowing in that fear - or even in preparing for life under collapse. The power of imagination must be used to design alternatives that prevent it. But, I know - and this is key - that imagination can also be the catalyst for collapse. I see people being swept up in anger about these contradictions. There is no solid ground. And now that uncertainty stirs up great vulnerability in so many people. The need to have certainty can be easily manipulated (IS being manipulated: conspiracies are rampant. They are built on the need to have certainty - any certainty will do. These people are spiraling into fear-hate-panic.
I am unsure of how we will counter this descent. It is transformation into more chaos, more pain - the worst dystopia.
And so, yes, I see the constraints - but I still want to put all my faith in human imagination. I am a reluctant optimist. Will the chaos also stir up powerful energy and determination? ... compassion and sacrifice? Will humans finally understand the concept of 'Selfish Benevolence' that is the core teaching of every religious/spiritual/philosophical contribution in human history? It is as though we are doing a dance on a moving platform - if we don't all reach out and balance each other, everyone (EVERYONE) will all fall off. There is no future for all of us when anyone is still fighting for their right to 'dance alone' - for their own needs over the needs of others.
I have great anxiety. This chaos is piercing my personal shield of 'homeostasis'. I want to be seen (heard) now. I want to participate in the transformation. I want to be useful. I want to share hints of designs that I have gathered for decades. I want to watch people be inspired to design their own future.