Unsettled
I've become a more anxious person recently. I'm not sure what of many things is making me this way, but i feel like I'm always on the run...both to and from places. I think a big part of it was uprooting from atlanta and moving out west while my parents uprooted and went to Va. I feel like I have no home. No home in the sense of that place where you feel like you belong, a center of your life from which most other things radiate. I lie in bed, not resting, but waiting for the next thing...my next phone call, my next chore, my next THING (whatever it may be) that I need to address. It's nice that I get to rest physically...sort of. I mean, I sleep more that 3 or 4 hrs a night, I'm not walking all over campus and such, and I have few social engagements (and for those I do have, my grandparents are inevitably more behind in getting ready than I am). It seems that something's still not right with me. I'm distracted mentally. Between worrying about money, car problems, life and death (yes, in general), life and death (more specifically, that of my grandmother), work, my future, girl from previous entry, and overwhelming self-loathing/analysis of where I am and going as a person/moral person. I can't settle. I blame it on not having a home. I'm always visiting somewhere...A big part is missing my friends...namely you guys. You all were my world for so long and for so much of my life and now I see you for a week every 6 months...and not even all of you. Is this the effects of prolonged loneliness? I don't think even I realized how attached I was to you guys.
Maybe it's just the hectic college life getting to me a little? I just wish i had a place I belonged..somewhere to rest and let the world slip by for a little. oh well, I guess it's not to be...
Maybe it's just the hectic college life getting to me a little? I just wish i had a place I belonged..somewhere to rest and let the world slip by for a little. oh well, I guess it's not to be...