Clearly you aren't doing your job well, Brandon, as molding oneself snugly into punative gender roles *is* the sign of a good employee, the hallmark of competence, and if you are so arrogant as to think your competence has anything to do soley with how well you do your job, well then, so be your confused little head. But just for the record, we have these things in America called women who are allowed to have hair at any length, from butch to two feet long, and they are also allowed to choose between dresses and pants, and paint their faces with any exciting variety of paints and designs, and choose any variety of necklaces and bangles. Next thing I know you're going to be wearing a BANGLE to work, or a BROOCH, or a star pendant NECKLACE, or an EARRING, another sign that you clearly are unable to do you job well. Where do you get the nerve thinking you can show up to work wearing an earring, anyway? I'd like to rip that little earring right out of your ear.
but seriously (not that I'd do this, because I'm petrified of authority figures, who might well punch me) you could have asked the person who told you there have been complaints what they told the complaintants, and then raised an eyebrow if they said 'nothing'. or asked them about how asked them how they feel about the myth of gender. or asked if they've ever read anything Judith Butler has written about performance gender. or question how the authority figures themselves, feel about enforcing punative gender roles, out of a sincere desire to know, so then they would at least be forced to utter the unutterable or cognate this illogic into words, into full sentences, maybe even a paragraph, in front of you, and then be forced to grapple with the fact that your hair isn't long simply because you're turning into a bum who has forgotten to cut it, but merely asserting your right to not to be shoved into the box of the male myth. people who enforce these punative gender norms are enforcing *sexiness*, is what they are doing. so when you eventually become a sellout like your friend Jason down in Houston, and I know you, and you will, if I sell out then you will sell out, keep in mind that the stupid world wants it this way because the wolrd finds it *sexier* if men are bound, shackled, and enforced to look the polar opposite of women. polar opposites makes for hot sex, Brandon! walk back into that office and tell them I WILL cut my hair, I WILL be the sexy man's man that you want, I WILL assume the power of the shorn male myth and let my newfound sex mythological sex appeal rain down upon this office! all male sheep must be stripped and shorn closely! all female sheep must be spraypainted and braided with extensions and squeezed into heels! agree! its the mature thing to do! its the correct thing to do! its the traditional thing to do! its the proper things to do! its the professional thing to do! its the adult thing to do! its the right thing to do!
in Houston here, if you're Jason, you rationalize, oh, well, this whole nightmare of existence will be over soon, because in 40 years or less I will die. thank GAWD! and Houston is a windy city and they say humidy is bad on long hair so I'm so GLAD i'm assuming the power of the male myth, i'm so glad gender is performing on me like a series of mites and malarias, dancing across my skin, really, don't you think the male myth would have even greater power if man were asked to saw off a pinky finger, since most women have pinky fingers. it would make a nice contrast. it would go well with the morning shave of facial hair. trim the scars on one's pinky! disinfect the pinky. for the record, facial hair *should* be decored with a little bow, like a French poodle. it *should* be styled into all sorts of goatee moustache combinations, the sort that makes one look like an ornate moo cow, these are very *professional* and *appropriate* sorts of facial hair.
what the fuck. I just read that whole comment and I think you should be an author of some sort. You're weird and I'm going to add you.
Anyway, (ss396) that's absurd that your hair length is even an issue. Can you tie it up or something? Like, what's the actual problem here? Is your hair dipping in people's food or tangling around their ankles? In which case, you could use your hair to your business's advantage by wrapping it around your shopper's legs, holding them hostage until they buy something. you know.
Clearly you aren't doing your job well, Brandon, as molding oneself snugly into punative gender roles *is* the sign of a good employee, the hallmark of competence, and if you are so arrogant as to think your competence has anything to do soley with how well you do your job, well then, so be your confused little head. But just for the record, we have these things in America called women who are allowed to have hair at any length, from butch to two feet long, and they are also allowed to choose between dresses and pants, and paint their faces with any exciting variety of paints and designs, and choose any variety of necklaces and bangles. Next thing I know you're going to be wearing a BANGLE to work, or a BROOCH, or a star pendant NECKLACE, or an EARRING, another sign that you clearly are unable to do you job well. Where do you get the nerve thinking you can show up to work wearing an earring, anyway? I'd like to rip that little earring right out of your ear.
but seriously (not that I'd do this, because I'm petrified of authority figures, who might well punch me) you could have asked the person who told you there have been complaints what they told the complaintants, and then raised an eyebrow if they said 'nothing'. or asked them about how asked them how they feel about the myth of gender. or asked if they've ever read anything Judith Butler has written about performance gender. or question how the authority figures themselves, feel about enforcing punative gender roles, out of a sincere desire to know, so then they would at least be forced to utter the unutterable or cognate this illogic into words, into full sentences, maybe even a paragraph, in front of you, and then be forced to grapple with the fact that your hair isn't long simply because you're turning into a bum who has forgotten to cut it, but merely asserting your right to not to be shoved into the box of the male myth. people who enforce these punative gender norms are enforcing *sexiness*, is what they are doing. so when you eventually become a sellout like your friend Jason down in Houston, and I know you, and you will, if I sell out then you will sell out, keep in mind that the stupid world wants it this way because the wolrd finds it *sexier* if men are bound, shackled, and enforced to look the polar opposite of women. polar opposites makes for hot sex, Brandon! walk back into that office and tell them I WILL cut my hair, I WILL be the sexy man's man that you want, I WILL assume the power of the shorn male myth and let my newfound sex mythological sex appeal rain down upon this office! all male sheep must be stripped and shorn closely! all female sheep must be spraypainted and braided with extensions and squeezed into heels! agree! its the mature thing to do! its the correct thing to do! its the traditional thing to do! its the proper things to do! its the professional thing to do! its the adult thing to do! its the right thing to do!
in Houston here, if you're Jason, you rationalize, oh, well, this whole nightmare of existence will be over soon, because in 40 years or less I will die. thank GAWD! and Houston is a windy city and they say humidy is bad on long hair so I'm so GLAD i'm assuming the power of the male myth, i'm so glad gender is performing on me like a series of mites and malarias, dancing across my skin, really, don't you think the male myth would have even greater power if man were asked to saw off a pinky finger, since most women have pinky fingers. it would make a nice contrast. it would go well with the morning shave of facial hair. trim the scars on one's pinky! disinfect the pinky. for the record, facial hair *should* be decored with a little bow, like a French poodle. it *should* be styled into all sorts of goatee moustache combinations, the sort that makes one look like an ornate moo cow, these are very *professional* and *appropriate* sorts of facial hair.
Reply
Anyway, (ss396) that's absurd that your hair length is even an issue. Can you tie it up or something? Like, what's the actual problem here? Is your hair dipping in people's food or tangling around their ankles? In which case, you could use your hair to your business's advantage by wrapping it around your shopper's legs, holding them hostage until they buy something. you know.
Reply
Leave a comment