OHH Shit in Head....
Wow I have a whole bunch of shit rolling around in my head right now... Why in the hell should this happen to me... All I know is that that last night or yesterday... Depends on how you want to look at it... Was my two of my good friends wedding... I was honored to be one of her brides maids... However, naturally, Alex her best friend was a brides maid too... Me being in love with Alex and seeing her there... She was beautiful... That of course brought up a lot of feelings...
There was also someone else there... Audra was there also... Wow! I love her too... Why do I love them both? Well, since both of them were there I had the feelings for both... It was just clouding my mind... A good day to get fucked up... Well, from getting fucked up I felt like an ass... I was too fucked up to really hang out with anyone... I haven't really gotten a lot of time to spend with Audra... And it had to be a night that I was fucked up that I was hanging, or at least trying to hang out with her... God, I hate that shit... I feel like I have let her down... I remember a long time ago... Guess it was about a year... But, I had quit smoking and I thought that she... I dunno... The point is when I started smoking again she sort of backed off... It made me feel like a faliure... I am in love with her and she pulled away because of ciggarettes... I want to quit... I do... But I am addicted and I don't have the motivation right now to quit... I know the only way that I would quit... But I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon, or anytime at all... I really wish that it would...
God this sounded soo much better in my head... I want to go out with Audra and I think that it might have been possible when I didn't smoke... I think that she would be the only way that I would quit smoking right now... Then again I am tired of this shit... I fall in love with someone and some feelings at least are shown back... Then I am totally screwed... It all falls apart... I want it to be different this time... However, I think that maybe if I was born in a different time that things might be different... I don't really know... I know that if something could show itself like it did before... Not even as much, just something making me feel like there was a chance... Like we had not grown that far apart... I miss soooo much holding her in my arms while we watched a movie... She loved my ring... I let her borrow it... Every other time she may have lost it; but she somehow always found it again... This last time she can't find it... She said she almost cried... I don't care about the ring... Well, not as much as I care about her... I love her and not a silly ring... I so want to tell her to her face how much I love her... However, I don't want things to be wierd... I know that she knows that I love her I have told her... I hate this shit... I just want to be happy... On the other hand... I want her to be happy... I care that she is happy over any happiness of my own... Why does she have to be sooo fucking awsome, hot, cool... I guess what I am trying to say is I miss you a lot... I want back some of the old days...
We need a god damned arcade back... We need DDR... And I just really need to stop most of the things that I am doing... I love you and miss you... Is there any chance??? What did I do to have you back off??? Wow, Its weird to read shit like this...
There was also someone else there... Audra was there also... Wow! I love her too... Why do I love them both? Well, since both of them were there I had the feelings for both... It was just clouding my mind... A good day to get fucked up... Well, from getting fucked up I felt like an ass... I was too fucked up to really hang out with anyone... I haven't really gotten a lot of time to spend with Audra... And it had to be a night that I was fucked up that I was hanging, or at least trying to hang out with her... God, I hate that shit... I feel like I have let her down... I remember a long time ago... Guess it was about a year... But, I had quit smoking and I thought that she... I dunno... The point is when I started smoking again she sort of backed off... It made me feel like a faliure... I am in love with her and she pulled away because of ciggarettes... I want to quit... I do... But I am addicted and I don't have the motivation right now to quit... I know the only way that I would quit... But I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon, or anytime at all... I really wish that it would...
God this sounded soo much better in my head... I want to go out with Audra and I think that it might have been possible when I didn't smoke... I think that she would be the only way that I would quit smoking right now... Then again I am tired of this shit... I fall in love with someone and some feelings at least are shown back... Then I am totally screwed... It all falls apart... I want it to be different this time... However, I think that maybe if I was born in a different time that things might be different... I don't really know... I know that if something could show itself like it did before... Not even as much, just something making me feel like there was a chance... Like we had not grown that far apart... I miss soooo much holding her in my arms while we watched a movie... She loved my ring... I let her borrow it... Every other time she may have lost it; but she somehow always found it again... This last time she can't find it... She said she almost cried... I don't care about the ring... Well, not as much as I care about her... I love her and not a silly ring... I so want to tell her to her face how much I love her... However, I don't want things to be wierd... I know that she knows that I love her I have told her... I hate this shit... I just want to be happy... On the other hand... I want her to be happy... I care that she is happy over any happiness of my own... Why does she have to be sooo fucking awsome, hot, cool... I guess what I am trying to say is I miss you a lot... I want back some of the old days...
We need a god damned arcade back... We need DDR... And I just really need to stop most of the things that I am doing... I love you and miss you... Is there any chance??? What did I do to have you back off??? Wow, Its weird to read shit like this...