Phone a friend... about porn.

[squishyturtle]

Sorry, I just have to share this, because it cracks me up. I was struggling to write a not-really-a-sex-scene, and complaining about it to boneyardblues , and we somehow got into an impromptu game of    WHERE DOES THE DICK GO? (TM)


Her, in lustrous purple: sex scenes are easy.
Me, in sensual blue: for you maybe
i always wanted to have you on hand, like a consultant, to write my sex scenes for me
well, here i am, babe
like oh a sex scene, it's cool, i have a girl for that, i'll ring her up
PHONE A FRIEND
 ASK AUDIENCE
precisely!
DOES THE DICK GO IN THE:
A. BUTT
B. MOUTH.
 C. EAR.
 D. HAIR
 E. PANTRY
 F. LAUNDRY SINK
 G. NEWSPAPER CLASSIFIEDS
 H. WATER COOLER
 I. GUACAMOLE
 J. OVEN
 K. CAR SEAT
 L. TREE
 M. VASE
 N. PORTALOO
 O. VINDALOO
 P. WHIRLAGIG
 Q. KANGAROO
 R. SCOOBY-DOO
 S. PUPPY POO
 T. PITY THE FOO'
 U. LUCY LUI
V. DOCTOR WHO
W. CAMERA CREW
X. SMELLY SHOE
Y. ORTHODOX JEW
Z. UP THE WAZOO

You're welcome.
It's like the abc's for perverts. Yes, this is how I write porn. Yes, I should probably go back to sex ed class.