I cried today.

[squishy_bubbles]

Its funny, that this should seem such a miraculous thing because, I used to cry all the time. But I haven't really cried in a long time. Its funny I haven't felt much of anything in a long time. I've just had this horrible floating feeling, and nothing every slows down enough for me to touch the bottom of the river and walk to the bottom of the

Comments

[anonymous]

It doesn't quite seem fair that we can reach this point, having learned so much just to let it go and leave to be in limbo. Funny that you used that word bc it's what I used with my councilor the other day. Where do I, me as me, go now? Why can we feel with such intensity and have no direction? It just feels so painful to me, even when I try to cover it with some good stuff or even when I sometimes forget about it. But just to feel it makes me know that I'm still alive, like you said. Does it make anything any easier to feel? Not for me. But last night I had a dream. I was so mad. I had so much pain and so many questions I demanded answers to, and I had to wait and wait with all my pain and all my uncertainties and all the fire in my head. And then it started to rain. And it was all I could feel and all I could see because it was raining gold. And I knew that everything was right. That everything I had felt, had to be felt in order to feel the rain. And it was so comforting that I forgot all about what I had wanted because all I needed was in that rain. It was all gold, and, I hate to say it but, I knew that it was gold refined by fire.