doubts
so, i'm having my first doubts about my ability to supervise. i thought i was doing a good job, balancing my relationships with the staff evenly and remaining professional but friendly with each of them. i started to doubt some of their work, question some of their actions and realize that they were not doing some of the things i told them to do... so i HAD to come down on them for it. that's hard for me, because i don't like being negative. i don't like yelling at people or telling them that they've done something i didn't like. i'm much better at just ignoring it and letting it slide because that's what makes me comfortable. but that wasn't working so i HAD to say something. if i didn't, then what kind of supervisor would i be? the last thing i want is to be like my past supervisor who let us get away with things. i can't do that. i want to be successful at this job, and i want my staff and building to be successful.
i don't know how successful i was at talking to them about my issues. i had to call certain people out, and i gave them the opportunity to speak and none of them took that opportunity. i'm afraid the people who really need the improvement didn't hear me, and the people who are totally fine took this as an attack. i didn't want it to be like that at all. i think they are all great people and they are doing a good job. but if i let the little things slide, who knows what could happen when it came to the big things.
i'm afraid my approach was wrong. i'm afraid that i've done something wrong. i ask them every week if there's anything i can do to improve my position as their supervisor. they all say i'm fine. but obviously something here isn't going right, or i wouldn't have had to have to the meeting i did last night. i can't help but blame myself, even though it's not really my fault. i don't wnat to isolate anyone on my staff, and i feel like i have after that meeting.
and i'm really only talking about one of them. i became friends with one of them and i thought our relationship was good. i asked if there was a problem last night, and i've tried to talk, but i've been ignored. i don't know what to do. i don't want to ruin the entire relationship because of one thing. i want to fix whatever it is that's wrong.
i just don't know what to do. i don't know if there's anything else i can do. but it makes me sad. i want to believe that i can do this job, because i love it. but is loving it enough to do it well?
i don't know how successful i was at talking to them about my issues. i had to call certain people out, and i gave them the opportunity to speak and none of them took that opportunity. i'm afraid the people who really need the improvement didn't hear me, and the people who are totally fine took this as an attack. i didn't want it to be like that at all. i think they are all great people and they are doing a good job. but if i let the little things slide, who knows what could happen when it came to the big things.
i'm afraid my approach was wrong. i'm afraid that i've done something wrong. i ask them every week if there's anything i can do to improve my position as their supervisor. they all say i'm fine. but obviously something here isn't going right, or i wouldn't have had to have to the meeting i did last night. i can't help but blame myself, even though it's not really my fault. i don't wnat to isolate anyone on my staff, and i feel like i have after that meeting.
and i'm really only talking about one of them. i became friends with one of them and i thought our relationship was good. i asked if there was a problem last night, and i've tried to talk, but i've been ignored. i don't know what to do. i don't want to ruin the entire relationship because of one thing. i want to fix whatever it is that's wrong.
i just don't know what to do. i don't know if there's anything else i can do. but it makes me sad. i want to believe that i can do this job, because i love it. but is loving it enough to do it well?