my work train on a friday..
i get on the train every morning to go to work and now that all the fancys are back from vacation i can never get a seat, so whatever i stand or i sit, ok whatever..before i used to NOT sit in the two seater cause I thought i was too fat, back in the day remember, so that has been over, and i sit wherever there is a seat, i like me new, i love me now, im becoming more secure with this 30years old thing going on. so this is what happens FRIDAY:
disclaimer (today i started to bleed, had now idea it was in the works, defiantly added to the rage of last week)
i get on the train and most people stand cause they dont want to sit with other people, i find what seems to be a skinny to sit with, and say 'excuse me'.. she looks up at me, like i just asked for her left arm, then she starts huffing and puffing in a great effort to move her million dollar gucci purse, so i say, 'forget it" and go sit another place..mean while iam boiling inside (been working on anger in therapy) so i just let the thoughts race, "this is not your train lady, this is actually a PUBLIC transportation system, meaning it's public space, you dont own your seat, just to let you know.." after the running stops, i take deep breath and pull out this magazine of short stories ive been reading and just read, yes anger interrupts, but i let it pass and feel proud because it didnt control me..
HERE IS WHAT I DID DO;
i waited until everyone passed by me, at my stop, got up, calmly went over to her and said 'excuse me ma'am but you were really rude to me this morning' turned around calming and walked off the train,my insides swelled up with empowerment and a huge huge loss of all the anger i was feeling..
anger only takes away your power because you cant be heard. calm tone mad that woman realize how she treated me was not fair. i hope she had a better day, honestly i do.
ps; 911 conspiracy theories are really creepy - look it up
pps. sum has been in treatment for going on 5 weeks
ppps. alot of self reflecting.
pppps. true friends are damn hard to come by
ppppps. i finally re-bought ani, living in clip, now i need puddle dive, the first one, and imperfectly...
pppppps.im going on my second solo vacation in two weeks, puerto rico baby!!!
disclaimer (today i started to bleed, had now idea it was in the works, defiantly added to the rage of last week)
i get on the train and most people stand cause they dont want to sit with other people, i find what seems to be a skinny to sit with, and say 'excuse me'.. she looks up at me, like i just asked for her left arm, then she starts huffing and puffing in a great effort to move her million dollar gucci purse, so i say, 'forget it" and go sit another place..mean while iam boiling inside (been working on anger in therapy) so i just let the thoughts race, "this is not your train lady, this is actually a PUBLIC transportation system, meaning it's public space, you dont own your seat, just to let you know.." after the running stops, i take deep breath and pull out this magazine of short stories ive been reading and just read, yes anger interrupts, but i let it pass and feel proud because it didnt control me..
HERE IS WHAT I DID DO;
i waited until everyone passed by me, at my stop, got up, calmly went over to her and said 'excuse me ma'am but you were really rude to me this morning' turned around calming and walked off the train,my insides swelled up with empowerment and a huge huge loss of all the anger i was feeling..
anger only takes away your power because you cant be heard. calm tone mad that woman realize how she treated me was not fair. i hope she had a better day, honestly i do.
ps; 911 conspiracy theories are really creepy - look it up
pps. sum has been in treatment for going on 5 weeks
ppps. alot of self reflecting.
pppps. true friends are damn hard to come by
ppppps. i finally re-bought ani, living in clip, now i need puddle dive, the first one, and imperfectly...
pppppps.im going on my second solo vacation in two weeks, puerto rico baby!!!