Inhale.
We have our fears. So, what's mine?
There's always that moment when we're all alone, wondering about our futures selves. Who will we be? What will we have seen? Will it all have been enough? Will it all have been worth it? It terrifies me that the past two years have gone by, and I haven't even exhaled. Where did they go? Where did I go?
There's always that moment when we meet someone, and we realize we're looking at an older version of ourselves. They describe their life in muddled memories: divorced parents, high school glory days, grown children, T.V. shows. Is that me? Is that my future? Or am I the person who describes the ugliness of South Africa, the spark in my child's eye, the spices of a once-in-a-lifetime meal, literature that strangled my emotions until they submitted.
My fear is regret. Living a life I regret. Do I regret these past two years? Most certainly not. But eventually the years add up, and you don't even notice. The exhale you take, when you finally realize you've caught up to yourself, might be your last.
I need to take a breath and inhale everything. I will use myself up until I'm all gone.
There's always that moment when we're all alone, wondering about our futures selves. Who will we be? What will we have seen? Will it all have been enough? Will it all have been worth it? It terrifies me that the past two years have gone by, and I haven't even exhaled. Where did they go? Where did I go?
There's always that moment when we meet someone, and we realize we're looking at an older version of ourselves. They describe their life in muddled memories: divorced parents, high school glory days, grown children, T.V. shows. Is that me? Is that my future? Or am I the person who describes the ugliness of South Africa, the spark in my child's eye, the spices of a once-in-a-lifetime meal, literature that strangled my emotions until they submitted.
My fear is regret. Living a life I regret. Do I regret these past two years? Most certainly not. But eventually the years add up, and you don't even notice. The exhale you take, when you finally realize you've caught up to yourself, might be your last.
I need to take a breath and inhale everything. I will use myself up until I'm all gone.
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